To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/09/18 12:26
Subject: Re: [K-list] Done. Was: Re: Vacation
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2003/09/18 12:26, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 07:24 PM 17/09/03, Julie D wrote:
>Hi Mas,
>
>I'm glad you're back!
Thanks! Me too.
>It sounds wonderful. I've never been sailing. I added it to my wishlish.
The man does the sailing, it is his passion. I'm passenger and Admiral. ;)
I love it, and hate it. Not prone to seasickness, I love the sea and
the West Coast wildness, and the elegant genius and simplicity of wind and
sail... but sailing does me in. Sailboats are mildew factories because they
are always a little damp, and mildew is a toxin.
>I was sorry to hear about your back. It sounds painfull.
Yeah, it was a shock to the system, hard because after I just wanted
to be still, and there is no being still on a sailboat. The body is always
shifting to balance itself against the waves. I'm not sorry tho, the
accident brought gifts in its wake. Perfection Is.
>I'm glad you found a good healer quickly. My son has broken his hand and
>had surgery and I have had a root canal treatment go wrong. The pain has
>lasted nearly 3 weeks. I have a new specialized dentist now and my son had
>the pins taken out of his hand this morning.
Root canal, yikes. I have not had one of those, thank fully. Hope your
son's hand turns out alright.
>I've been pointing the finger at mercury retrograde!
Heh, yeah blame the stars, they don't mind. :)
>After reading this I was wondering how Kundalini is for you now? I often
>come across comments like this while reading, etc and I have wondered what
>is meant by finished or done. I don't have Kriya's anymore but I still have
>rushes of energy through my system on a daily basis. Does this end?
Hmmm, interesting question.
I love to feel the energy, it is part of what motivates my work. K is
usually active when it has work to do, so processing other folks karma via
empathy can be very pleasant, if they truly surrender. The alchemy of
transmutation... and the goosebumps and rushes of resonance, of speaking truth.
For me, and in me, stuff just IS... not much need to remind myself of
what I know to be true. Just focusing on my heart and power chakra can
bliss me out and joy is my natural state.
Not that I am ecstatic 24/7... but crankiness does not last. Stuff
just doesn't stick, the tide of energy washes it away sooner or later,
usually sooner.
I got cranky today, contemplating my things to do list this afternoon
was overwhelming, frustrating, a little demoralizing... I could not think
how I could possibly get everything done and more things kept coming up so
frustration mounted, bordering on despair. While cooking dinner I
remembered a friend mentioning being unemployed and short of cash, and was
inspired to hire him to help me for the next few days. It is a win/win.
My equilibrium resumed. Right now it is 3am after a very long day...
I'm tired, a little dehydrated, a few minor aches and pains... I had not
noticed the aches till I went looking for them. I have joy in my heart and
I am at peace. My whole body tingles in a very pleasant way that reduces
the fatigue to insignificance.
When I am speaking to/for another, there are sometimes very strong
body reactions of truth resonance. Goosebumps and energy rushes. Some may
be mine, some are from feeling the words impact the energy of the
listener. Interesting, how I can feel someone's karma blockage in my own
body, tune into it enough to speak its essence in words and feel the
release in them, in me. I may get mini-kriyas, like a shift of breath or a
twitch of muscle as their stuff in me lets go... processing.
I did a session this evening, Tummo fire initiation but I was moved to
do some inner child work, etc. as part of the clearing to pave the way for
the fire to rise.
Tummo initiation starts with the power chakra. Focusing on my client's
power chakra I felt an old fear and helplessness that was childlike, the
patterns of it touching the lower chakras and tight in the neck and
shoulders, like a child cringing from a blow, or carrying a weight of too
much responsibility.
I shared my perceptions and asked him about it. He told me that his
father had been an abusive alcoholic who beat his mother and himself... and
I felt there was some post traumatic stress remaining from those past
events, as well, and guidance told me to do the inner child work with him.
With inner child work, first we find the unhappy child they were, then
we create/imagine an idealized, older version of themselves, and we give it
all virtues, super powers, whatever... Then we put the child and the older
self together so the older idealized self can reparent the inner child.
I instruct the client to imagine the older self taking the child in its
arms, and I give the older self the words to say to the child. The exact
words vary, but usually it goes something like:
"I love you. I will always love you, I will never leave you and we will
be together no matter what. When you are frightened I will protect you,
when you are hurting I will comfort you. When you are bored I will play
with you, when you are sad I will share with you. When you are confused, I
will give you understanding. No matter where you go, and what you do, I
will be with you and I will take care of you, because I love you
unconditionally and always."
Even writing the words, I get goosebumps and bliss, the truth of it
transcends the simple visualization, but whether the sensations are my own
or empathy with those who will read this, I do not know. I do know that the
love in it, transcends time and space and reaches into the past to touch
and heal the child that was, ripples into the now to heal the adult. The
visualization finishes with the older self and the child walking off into
the sunset together. Into the Light, outside of time.
The original technique I got from the author John Bradshaw, I think...
"Reparenting the inner child"?? ... but probably I have modified it over
the years, and gained understanding. The older self is symbolic of the
Higher self... together with the child self and the client-observer in the
Now, it makes a kind of triple Goddess. Maiden, woman, crone ... boy, man
and elder.
The truth in the words, is the truth of the nature of the love of the
Higher Self, of the Divine which is always there and always has been, even
in our darkest moments when we feel most helpless and alone.
After the visualization, I invited the client to look again at the old
painful childhood memories to see how they had changed. He said the pain
was gone, it was like the memories belonged to someone else. Love,
transcending time and space to heal and release the pain of the past. I
know, we did not get it all out, too much change all at once is stressful.
There will be more old baggage from these events coming up to be released
in the future, but the core of it is shifted, and the rest will go easier.
So, I feel the energy when there is alchemy, empathy,
transmutation... but even when there is not work to do, it speaks to give
me information, navigation, it responds to terrible beauty that makes me
laugh and cry both at once. The energy responds resonant to truth, and to
beauty. It points the way, it reacts to love and to beauty. Truth is
beauty, beauty is truth.
Music does it to me sometimes... Kundalini and music are so... wow..
Comes to mind, a song by the Halifax band Great Big Sea. It is a son
singing about his fisherman father, who has an old boat and longs for a
better boat like his neighbor.
"Oh Gideon lived across the bay, he's getting older now
His boat is big and strong and bold, she has a stalwart bow
But my father's boat was second hand, one someone used before
And after every fishing trip my father always swore
That someday he would save enough to go to St John's town
And buy himself a big new boat
A boat like Gideon Brown"
The song goes, as the fathers life continues, his dreams and his love,
and how he passes the dream onto his son.
"Many years did pass away and Dad began to fade
He didn't talk of boats too much, he said "son, I'm afraid
If things don't soon improve, then I'll be underground
'Fore we ever get to see ourselves
In a boat like Gideon Brown"
chorus: She can punch ahead in any gale and ride the fishing ground
I often thought how proud I'd be in a boat like Gideon Brown
In a boat like Gideon Brown
I sat and held his hand one day, and he said "son, that policy -
The insurance is all in your name, you're the beneficiary.
And when I'm gone they'll pay you off, then go to St John's town
And buy yourself a big new boat
A boat like Gideon Brown"
http://www.teddy-uk.net/gbs/sonc.htm#gideon
Song brings tears to my eyes and a smile on my face every time I hear
it, even reading the lyrics, because it is so true, so sad, so joyful, so
beautiful, so full of love. So very human. It is the humanity of it, that
gets me.
To dream, to love, to strive, to fail, and yet never give up on a dream,
even when death comes calling. This is the truth of the human spirit, and
the nature of us strange two legged critters on this big blue marble that
is so very small in the vastness of the universe. The lovely tragic comedy
that is Life, the cosmic joke that makes Jesus weep and the Buddha
laugh. We are both. Heart and crown.
There is an expression, "The truth hurts", and another: "The truth
makes you laugh, that is how you can recognise it." Someone added, "and
when you really understand it, it makes you cry."
I would say, with Kundalini, truth makes you laugh and cry both at
once, it is painful and blissful at the very same time. Beautiful, tragic,
ecstatic... the expression, "Terribly beautiful" is that, to me. Beauty
that is truth, rips you open with pain and bliss, like God eating a mango
that is my heart. Terrible in its power and I am helpless before it, it
slays me, I am devoured and weep with joy and gratitude.
It is the kriya that never goes away, it only gets more intense with
time, as the dissipation of boundaries leaves us ever more naked and
sensitive, blissfully vulnerable to the terrible beauty of truth.
I love to surrender to it, let the claws and teeth of love devour me,
then I am nothing, ... and yet, I AM.
In the wake of the violence, comes the peace that passeth
understanding... simply, Being.
Whoo, 5:30 AM... this being better get some sleep!
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