To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/08/29 15:45
Subject: Forward from MAS Re: [K-list] Sharing (was Meditation)
From: Druout
On 2003/08/29 15:45, Druout posted thus to the K-list:
At 06:48 AM 17/08/03, Hbarrett47 AT_NOSPAM aol.com wrote:
>I have no doubt that the inability to speak about what is happening to us
>contributes to the paranoia some of us go through. I hope you feel relief
>expressing yourself here even if the feedback is disappointing -- that's
>the idea, I think. But I also have come to believe that the isolation of
>awakening
>itself, the fact that no one can experience our experience with us, is
>part of the
>cauldron that cooks the ego to a fine transparency.
I think so too. Being unable to speak, forces us to turn inward and
trust in ourselves and the power that moves us, instead of depending on
external validation from other people to maintain our comfort zone.
I observe a specific pattern: (unless one is awakened in a group
context like an ashram or Yoga course,) the spontaneously awakened go
through a period where it seems they are the only one in the world that is
experiencing these things. This isolation changes once a certain level of
self reliance and trust in the Divine is accomplished, you come out the
other side and meet awakened people are everywhere!
Then later, self realization makes a shift and it appears that
everyone is enlightened, and it is hard to tell who is, and who thinks they
are not, till they open their mouths to say where they think love does not
abide...
With the list too... most people who find it, are already awakened, and
have been for some time. They have made the shift into faith, to the next
phase where "satsangh" (spiritual company) is more useful than self reliance.
>We want people to KNOW
>about these amazing and sometimes awful events that are happening to us,
>but even when we tell them, it is unsatisfying. This dissatisfaction,
>too, must be
>surrendered. I do report in to my husband from time to time, for
>example. He
>is always interested, a little disbelieving, and very loving. I am always
>relieved when I speak my truth to him and always a little disappointed
>that he
>doesn't completely understand because he's not living in my body.
Accepting,
>even cherishing, this kind of disappointment has been a tremendous release
>for me.
I know what you mean. I went through a peculiar shift of
disappointment with communications, coming as a result of learning that
some e-friends who had been reading and responding to my emails for *years*
did not actually understand what I was talking about! Really blew a hole in
my idea of myself as a writer, a good communicator. It felt really lonely...
It was frustrating to realize that human communication is like that "Far
Side" cartoon, "what we say to dogs... and what they hear." The filters of
perception.
Each of us in our own universe, seeing only ourselves reflected. I stopped
writing, for a while.
Later, I had one student who seemed to have some real communications
problems, hearing the opposite of what was said. I told her to send her
false Divine Beloved into the Light, and she wrote back that she had sent
it into the darkness many times and it came right back. ??!!??!!??!! !
Whew! Talk about "not clear on the concept!" Dealing with her, made me
completely disillusioned of any confidence in my ability to communicate,
teach... want to chuck the Fire Serpent Tantra course out the window,
delete everything and run off to go paint nudes on the beach in Fiji like
Gaugan... I nearly did, too! Instead, I recognised it as a signal to
surrender everything...
I came out the other side with a greater appreciation of the Shakti of
communications, and have come to depend on it, as much or more than the
words. Words are only the carrier for the energy communication. When I gave
it all to Goddess, the synchronicities among the students increased. An
interesting pattern, of members thinking questions only to have the
answered in the next lesson, and reading lessons and having life experience
confirm or clarify the meaning. An interesting and wonderful flow...
Goddess has it handled.
Speaking your truth, carries grace.
Someone wrote to me recently, asking where on my sites I teach about
pranayama. I responded:
<<< There are no pages as you describe! I don't teach it, I don't have
to... as you discovered, if your body thinks you need to do it, you get
the kriyas and do it spontaneously, and that is best. Same with toning, for
the most part.
The difference I think, is the Shaktipat. Your previous teachers did
not use Shaktipat to the same extent. I know the Shakti fire will transmit
the knowledge needed, whether it is my knowledge or something from the
collective.
It is the same with Amitra, as mentioned previously elsewhere. My
clients and students, and most Kundalites get amitra spontaneously, when
the time is right without any effort at trying to force it. Just last week
someone mentioned a strange taste in his mouth as the session was winding
up. Amitra beginning to flow. I know visualizations to open the amitra
channel deliberately, but rarely teach them because it is not necessary....
like with this client, Goddess provides.
One reason I don't teach any kind of Pranayama is because it is most
notorious for causing psychosis. I consider psychosis to be the worst
hazard of K. When done deliberately and forcefully, pranayama can bring up
more karma than an individual is able to handle, and cause psychosis and
bizarre effects. Sometimes people get addicted to the high they get off
pranayama, and do too much, get messed up. >>>
Isn't it funny though, how persistently we try to express our
experience and share our truths. Every sacred text ever written, is someone
trying to share their experience... and how seldom the message of the words
really gets through... but the energy, affects the receptive.
>So I think that's our task as humans, k-awake or not, to communicate, speak
>our truth, and then surrender the outcome. Seems to me this is how we best
>serve Life.
I came to the same conclusion. The energy of sharing is important,
Goddess hugging herself, through us... the vibration of truth, is love and
beauty. Words and intellectual communication is secondary.
Always delightful to read your posts, Holly! :)
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