To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/08/12 08:39
Subject: Re: [K-list] Age of awakening poll II
From: Blue Pearl
On 2003/08/12 08:39, Blue Pearl posted thus to the K-list:
Druout AT_NOSPAM aol.com wrote:
> What age were you when you first became K awakened? What do you think
> triggered your awakening?
Dear list,
I was 19 when suddenly the world around me changed in a way I never
could have imagined before. I am still unsure what exacly triggered
the awakening but some notable circumstances seem to have played a
role.
First of all it was a very stressful time, I was heading for
my school leaving examination and I had to learn a lot (I was actually
learning math when I first realised that something is ongoing).
Secondly I was using drugs like exctacy some days before that, so
my first idea was, that the drugs were to blame for my strange state.
But after consultations of all kinds of medical experts in the
succeeding months I finally opened myself to mediation which took away
all the fear and desperation. This is now almost ten years ago when this
long journey began...
Furthermore I was kind of sick of it all, not seeing any sense
in life. When I look back I can see that I was somewhat "living
on the edge", one step further and I would have lost myself
in drugs and futility. So nowadays I see the process, which is
still ongoing, as a salvation, even though the first months were
the hardest of my life up to now. Somehow all which happened makes
sense.
First I was very concerned in all these factors which may have
triggered the awaking. But with the time I got the impression
that it is not really important which factors might have been
important. In some cases they seem to be obvious, sometimes not.
For me they served as a first explanation, an conceptial aid which
made it easier for the mind to label and understand. But after all,
the process seems to have intelligence, it chooses factors which
fit in ones live, that's just it.
Light and Love,
Lars
P.S. I have put a more detailed version of my first awaking in my answer
to the thread "an interesting interrupting email" on 07/04/03
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