To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/07/08 15:17
Subject: Re: [K-list] Hello and Introduction
From: Lbra782595
On 2003/07/08 15:17, Lbra782595 posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Jennifer,
Welcome to the K-list.
Your experiences are definately manifestations of your growing energy awareness. However, once the energy starts flowing, it manifests a little differently in each person. So while you may have some things in common with others, You will have some things that are unique to your own psyche. The feelings of "sucking energy" from others is another sign of your awareness of the flowing of the energy. Sometimes it flows in, sometimes it flows out. If you can grounded and connected then you can learn how to use the energy properly.
The state of detachment you describe is commonplace. Detachment is easily confused for depression. Yogis strive for a state of detachment.
You mentioned giving up the "ego self". Instead of trying to get rid of it, try to see the ego as a tool for your conscious use. Through the ego we interact with other people. When we step out the ego we are able to merge with the Divine.
"Phantoms in your body" are probably ideas that you need to release. Your mind must work in metaphors when trying to communicate to your consciousness because there is no other vocabulary to communicate between these two states.
Trust the Divine nature of the universe. You are not lying to yourself. You are seeing what "Is" for the first time and it's a little disturbing to your current state of mind. As you become more aware, things will make more sense.
I had a rough time of it when I first woke up back in the 1980's. But I had no source of information at the time. The internet had not been invented and esoteric teachers were scarce in south Texas. Keep talking to us. Many people here will be happy to help you.
If you have not done so, I would suggest finding a spiritual path that "resonates" for you. Stick to it. Allow yourself to grow. Love yourself.
"You are child of the Universe, no less than the trees or the stars.
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt, the universe is unfolding as it should,
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him/her to be.
...........................................Desiderata
All paths lead back to the source, some just take longer than others. You have chosen a swifter path, but you must be willing to do the work that comes with it or "slip back" as you said. The choice is yours, no one can make it for you. It is not easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.
Loaves and Fishes,
Jason B
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