To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/06/17 23:00
Subject: Re: [K-list] Darkest night
From: Ron Whitaker
On 2003/06/17 23:00, Ron Whitaker posted thus to the K-list:
Rick,
Beautifully stated. I am with you 100%. I don't have any answers because
that is were I hang out too. At times the only thing left for me is to sit
and meditate- so I do.
One small glimmer of hope for me I see occurring. Forced living in the
moment. I now do things only for the process of doing - enjoyment of simply
being in the moment surges forth. I am experiencing some freedom for as you
say - couldn't give a shit what happens anyway.
Another painful part for me is meditation. It is flat, quiet and totally
uneventful. So the whole ball of wax is bla!
I have spent 3-5 years in this hole and I am starting to see some sunlight.
Ron
----- Original Message -----
From: "Rick Mayweather" <rick_mayweather AT_NOSPAM hotmail.com>
To: <k-list AT_NOSPAM Kundalini-Gateway.org>
Sent: Tuesday, June 17, 2003 5:11 PM
Subject: [K-list] Darkest night
> **please remember to delete most of email you are responding to, before
posting your comments to the list.**
>
>
> I've been going through an interesting, extremely frustrating, very
annoying
> and saddening experience whereby the world has stopped, it's hard to
> describe other than that for a long time.
>
> Nothing happens, everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong many times
> over, nothing no more goes my way, it all goes other ways. The zero
> experience. I'm at ground zero waiting for the implosion.
>
> What do you do when you don't know in what direction to turn, as you've
> turned already in so many directions that nothing seems to work.
>
> Is this the climax for the dark night, the darkest night, the blackest of
> the black, pure emptiness realised, to become hollow.
>
> To get annoyed at nothing (speaking relatively) sounds bizarre, but it's
the
> worst kind, because you can't objectify it, simply nothing seems to work
or
> happen, nothing quite makes sense, nothing clicks, there is no
synchronicity
> that people seem to find routine in their daily life and no fulfilment.
>
> It's got to to the point where I am completely lost. What I knew seems no
> longer relevant, what I know is nothing, and where I am is not quite
being,
> which is Self.
>
> To go back would be difficult if not impossible, and to go forward does'nt
> make sense.
>
> It's difficult to concentrate, focus, think, zoom in on tasks and when you
> do, it's tiring, tedious, boring.
>
> Desire fades like a strung out cloud silhouetted in the sky. The desire
to
> do anything has completely vanished. You wonder how it ever existed in
the
> first place and how flippantly you spent your time.
>
> You read of the sun coming out, you stand your ground, walk the line, go
the
> distance, to experience your true nature and yet still nothing happens.
You
> see others fitting into society, as easily as putting on a pair of shoes
and
> yet your shoes don't fit. You give up wearing the shoes, it's better to
> walk barefoot, but something is not right.
>
> Everything that can be done has been done. There is nothing left, in fact
> it is said that nothing exists other than Self, so perhaps this is
actually
> a good thing.
>
> That's me, wanted to share how it feels. I've not read what others really
> went through, always curious to share, learn and grow together.
>
> _
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>
>
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