To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/04/08 20:02
Subject: Re: [K-list] Anger and K
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent

At 09:00 AM 08/04/03, Janet Brockett wrote:
>I have been having massive anger issues in the last couple of
>years. Before that it was depression.

    Depression is anger turned inwards.

> To tell you the truth anger is a whole lot better than depression
> despite what my buddhist teachers have told me.

    Yes, it is. Anger can be very positive, like a clean wind that blows
away the smog. Most major injustices in the world have been fought through
the positive effects of righteous anger in the hearts of good people.

> When I am depressed my whole world stops and I wish to die for months
> and I am worse than useless to everyone around me. When I am angry it
> come and goes like a storm.

    I have been known to deliberately piss off depressed people, just so
they get off their butts and start to release the issues. Anger is active,
better than depression, self pity. Even so, anger is rooted in fear... love
and peace are more pleasant.

>It just boils out of me and I am barely able to contain myself. Almost
>like an anger Kriya.

    It is an anger kriya. The layers of anger that were the source of your
depression, releasing. Find a safe way to let it out; hit your bed with a
bat, kick an empty box around an empty parking lot... get a punching ball.
Under the anger you will find a hurt, and under the hurt you will find a
fear, and under the fear you will find a limiting belief or unworkable
paradigm.

     Possibly the root source of the whole layered cake of emotions is some
event in your childhood, perhaps the event itself was repressed beyond
memory. The old pain memory is hidden somewhere in your body, and when you
have peeled away enough of the covering emotions, it will surface. Or, it
may be some event that you remember, but did not think was still affecting
you.

    Either way, get to the bottom of the issues, to the place of peace,
before seeking to resolve things with the person you believe hurt you. It
is very easy to mis-assign emotions and go off on the wrong track. Some of
the memories that surface may be imagined or metaphorical... try to avoid
victimhood.

>I know it is about not wanting to accept what is. But I wonder if the
>strength of it is related to K or just unresolved childhood stuff or both.

     Both. K. bringing up unresolved childhood stuff to be released.

     Blessings...
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