To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/04/07 15:28
Subject: [K-list] Re: can Janet explain the Presence of the Divine Mothe
From: Janet Brockett
On 2003/04/07 15:28, Janet Brockett posted thus to the K-list:
>I am also thankful to Janet
>for describing how she came to experience the Divine Mother's Presence in
>her
>However, I could not understand very well
>Can she explain the same in fuller terms?
>
This is challenging to say the least. I have tried a few times to explain the divine mother to my friends and I mostly feel very frustrated by the end of the discussion. I don´t think its something that I can explain to people unless they feel it themselves. Maybe another could I am just speaking of my own limitations. But here goes:
For years I have had problems with emotional instability. I don´t want to belabor this point but the emotional turbulence was and is, a spiritual tempering, a birthing by fire.
I went to a bio-energy healer starting four months ago. On the first session I felt this male and female energy spiraling up my body and a holy female presence. But who? The second time I went to the healer he said that the energy wanted to go up. He put his hands on my head and my whole body started shaking and I almost passed out. Waves of love filled my heart. Then I heard a voice in my head telling me that I needed to open my heart. The voice said that “You think that by closing your heart you will be safer and happier but the truth is that the more you open to love the happier you will be’.
I guessed it had to do with Kundalini but did not really know what was happening. The bio-energy healer does not speak much so he really did not say much. Later that night as I lay in bed the Divine Mother (only words I could think of to describe her) came to me. It was a feeling of love and being held and protected. For days afterwards I would wake up at night with the energy vibrating through my body. I would call out her name as a lover would, as a child would. The beautiful thing was that this was not something from the mind but truly of my whole being.
There was a vision at 4:00 am. The Mother spoke and then the old crone grandmother goddess Dhumavati came to me in a vision. I did not know she existed until then. (this is all I will say of that vision).
I found that I could generate a healing energy from my palms. But trying to heal people at this point only causes me great distress because my boundaries are too weak. And still very much in the process of healing my own emotional difficulties.
The Divine Mother is subtle yet she pervades all creation. She defies analysis. To feel her presence one has to relax into her and open the heart. Thankfulness is a way to welcome her. Thinking about her is not her. She is grace. She comes as she wishes and she cannot be forced. It is antithetical to the nature of the experience. All one can do is be there to open the door when the visitor comes.
Yet, I am called to praise her through meditations and reading poetry dedicated to her. In fact I could meditate hours a day just in praise of her infinite creation and splendor because she is the “force that through the green fuse drives the flower’. She is the infinite universe swirling the cosmic gases, creating stars and collapsing them into black holes. She is the sounds and the spaces between them.
Janet
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