To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/04/05 03:40
Subject: [K-list] menstruation
From: Janet Palmer
On 2003/04/05 03:40, Janet Palmer posted thus to the K-list:
Dearest list
I have found the discussion about menstruation compelling. The monthly
cycle has a major impact on my life. Am I a victim of them? I am not
sure at all how to respond to this. I find that thinking of myself as a
victim not at all useful. Yet my body cycles relentless and
beautifully. Beautiful because the cycles have brought me my child and
my intense sexuality. Relentless because for years I have had
pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder. this disorder has been so painful and
confusing that I have been driven to near suicide and raging violence.
I have been hospitalized multiple times as a result of this combined
with difficult life situations. Every month for years, up to two weeks
before my period I experienced a hormonal unbalance ripping apart my
psyche and my relationships. But why do I have these problems? Karma,
environmental pollution, a society completely out of balance with
nature, a psychic response to aeons of female brutalization? I suspect
it to be a combination of all of these. I believe that if I lived in a
world where a woman cycle was naturally respected and understood as a
sacred expression of being a human I think my experience would be
completely different. I also believe that we all suffer form
environmental pollutants that affect us in ways that are not
recognized. For example most woman have measurable amounts of
environmental pollutants in the breast tissue. Goddess only knows what
effect this chemical soup may have on us.
Yet this pain is not without its gifts such as empathy and compassion
for the suffering of others.
But all of this has taken a miraculous turn. I went to an energy
healer to help with the pms. He unexpectedly opened me to the Divine
Mother. The healer never said a word about what was happening he
certainly did not mention the Divine Mother. But when I went home that
night the Divine Mother filled me with her love and energy. (previous
to that night I had never heard of the Divine Mother. Those words were
not part of my vocabulary.) My pre menstrual disorder has almost
completely disappeared. Truly miraculous. Now I feel as if my life is
dedicated to worshipping the Divine Mother. But not in some sterile
patriarchal manor. But in a juicy , heart opening wild and powerful
way. Through my awareness of her waxes and wanes she is there holding
me. She intoxicates me with her wisdom and beauty. It seems that the
previous years of suffering were necessary part of my evolution (maybe
just cause I am dense and can only learn the hard way). What is the
point of all this rambling? Only to say what seemed to be a terrible
curse (pms) actually now seems to be the driving force that woke me to
the the fundamental creative energy of the universe, the Divine
Mother. I am still in the very early stages of learning about her and
her connection to the cycles of my body.
Janet
P.S. I know there are those out there who do not believe the Divine
Mother exists. I can only say that I experience her and that this is a
very personal experience.
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