To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/03/19 20:30
Subject: [K-list] the science of enlightenment/rationalistic materialism
From: Shellelr

Dear Janet, RK, and others,

Janet, thank you for your "homework" suggestions. It seems like I have been doing nothing but "homework" on K and consciousness for the past few years, but you mentioned some people I hadn't heard of.

I have a problem with obsessive worrying that has gotten completely out of control lately. I sit back and watch myself go through cycles of latching onto things to fear, or feel awful about. I don't know why I do this, I'm trying to figure it out. At least I've gotten to where I see it happening and sort of just watch it till it passes. And I realized a couple of days ago that I was again doing this self-torture, with the brain/consciousness/is this "real" stuff. I usually do not doubt my experiences and feelings of unity and divinity; I've been living in Wonderland, full of gratitude and endless interest.

Anyway, I came to the realization yesterday that maybe I am on overload from just too much "homework" and reading. At that Sufi luncheon I went to, the teacher said that people who do too much spiritual reading and too little spiritual practice will become intellectually overloaded and depressed. Hello! I think I qualify. So yesterday I decided to continue my newly-resumed meditative practices and rituals, but otherwise try to take a bit of a "thinking" break. I think I need to try to relax, read for fun, and stop actively seeking and thinking and clinging for a while, because I've become cloudy. Which was why your post, RK, struck a chord. You said,

"So, it becomes necessary to sweep aside
the disguise of Truth and the Truth itself at least for a time
So that the road might be clear for a new departure and surer advance"

I think you must have read my mind! :0)

Love to all.

Shelle
Off to do something meaningless. And by the way, a suggested link for others of you who might need some laughter these days. This site made me laugh harder than I've laughed in ages: http://www.poundy.com/wwcards.html

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