To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/02/27 22:46
Subject: [K-list] Melancholy. And what is Kundalini you ask?
From: One Man Alone
On 2003/02/27 22:46, One Man Alone posted thus to the K-list:
Hi, One Man Alone here. *sigh* Where should I start? It's been a while since my last post, but that's because my last post explained that I had come to a realization while reading responses to a post yet before that one, and since then I have been thinking and adding and thinking more, and sometimes trying not to think, all to find out the age old question that has been asked since mankind wanted to know what was going on, that question of course is "What the f**k?". It's a question with motivation and begs for explanation. Well, I think I can answer 0.2% of that enigma that has plagued us. Since I started writing my first book, I suddenly grew a power of inspiration. In a car, with my mother and stepfather (for those of you who don't know, I'm 17 about to be 18 on July 26th. I'm also newly awakened.), we were driving down this long bridge to go to the store, and it was misty and dark(about 8:00 PM at the time), there was fog everywhere and between the streetlights it appeared to be forming a glass wall and ceiling, it almost appeared solid, and I was sitting in the middle of the back seat looking out the front window, and then I closed my eyes for a minute and felt my surroundings as they passed by. I opened my eyes and looked at the bridge again, then the scene appeared in my head as a large group of text, only it was highly descriptive and sounded much like a novel. This ability to translate scenery to highly developed text told me something.
It occurred to me recently that my hate for the world and all things in it had not died, but grew stronger and I don't seem to hold my feelings back. I have come to the conclusion, for those of you who are open-minded and don't mind being wrong(not that I'm saying anyone else is. I may be wrong...maybe not.) about Kundalini being a great tool and essence for enlightenment and peace. I think that Kundalini is actually, according to everyone's suspicions of deletion of ego, that it doesn't actually FREE you from ego-effects, but rather BRINGS you to them. Instead of getting rid of the software, it make the software hardware. It makes you who you really are. If you're (hope this doesn't sound corny) evil, it makes you evil without holding back. You CAN be evil to just a certain level, I'm not saying it makes you full blown evil, but it will get rid of whatever makes people doubt their own choices. If you're good, then it simply helps relieve you of anger and judgment towards others, that sort of thing. It stops your doubts. It simply makes you who you really are, or LETS you BE who you really are.
I hope others get the good side out, but it's not for me. I'm not evil, I mean I'm still a Christian and all, but I'm afraid I'm just not going to love my fellow man, hold back my anger, or really care about life and living. I'm going to be a bit pensive from now on, but that's who I am. I'm an angry, sad, lonely, depressed, lost, mean, uncaring, spiritless, hopeless, highly intelligent, always thoughtful to strangers, have good manners(especially to women and elders), loveless, hate filled shell of a mentally unstable, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ridden, slightly chubby, short, articulate, gentleman. I don't really love anyone, and I don't want love. It makes me sick. I like to hate and be hated. When I'm rich enough(and I will be rich one day), I will fund and build an organization based on hatred, that will become a political enemy to governments. The organization will help the common man avoid stress by threatening the problems of society, and if our conditions aren't meant, then we'll cause it pain and suffering. We will overpower governments to give more to it's nations people, but I'm not a hippie. I like climbing trees, but I won't chain myself to one. And I honestly don't give a rats ass about any friggin pandas. Does anyone else think I'm right about my True Self Motivation(catchy?) theory?
Sign - One Man Alone
I will, or I shall die trying...
War brings peace and peace brings war, but only I bring despair.
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