To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/02/19 00:22
Subject: Re: [K-list] Philosophy and Non-Duality
From: felix
On 2003/02/19 00:22, felix posted thus to the K-list:
On Tue, 18 Feb 2003 14:55:52 -0800
"Laura" <Laura.Edwards AT_NOSPAM sbcglobal.net> wrote:
<>
This story is too hard for me to accept. Was it one of
> those dream states we have talked about? How did you get
> to Yosemite? Did you go by yourself? On a bus? Is there
> a ticket or receipt from the trip?
Hi Laura,
No blame. If it hadn't happened to me I wouldn't believe it either. I've attempted to make it clear that it is an unbelievable tale for most.
Yes, I was by myself. I got to Yosemite by hitch-hiking. I had been on the road for a few months before that just going wherever people took me, and I caught a ride with this salesman going up to the Lodge there on business. I asked him if it was alright to ride along, and he dropped me off a coupla hundred yards before we got to the entrance gate and I hiked around it. Like many of these types of experiences I have no proof of anything. I don't expect or even desire believability. This happened for me, and the only believability that matters is my own.
> You say you jumped
> off a sheer cliff. How did you land? On your feet? Did you get hurt? If
> you had not tried so hard to remember the incident, what parts would you
> have forgotten? The whole trip or just the part about being alone on the
> mountaintop?
>
> I'm not saying it didn't happen. I believe there is more
> to life than we can know or comprehend. I'm just blown
> away and would like a few more details, if you are willing.
Yes, I'll answer any question that pleases you, that is, if I feel like I really have an answer. As you can imagine, sometime there are no answers for this type of thing.
When I jumped, I lost consciousness, and don't remember to this day anything that happened between jumping and seeing that light.
Did I get hurt? No, not at all. When I became aware, and knew that I would survive, I was still really, really cold. I was blue all over. I saw this in the mirrors in the bathhouse. The place was empty, not a soul witnessed my condition. It took several hours for me to warm up enough to get into the showers. Even then I could only bear cold water, which was warmer than I was.
The only part of the experience I blacked out was after I jumped. The next morning when daylight finally come, I had warmed up and put on the other clothes I had in my pack, which surprising I found with ease, like I was led right to it hidden in the bushes where I had left it. I went looking for food. I encountered a Park Ranger directing traffic who literally freaked out as he saw me approach. He seemed frightened at the very sight of me. I asked him how I could get off the mountains. He said there was a bus that left in an hour that went to Bakersfield that cost $6. Luckily, I had $7 and some change.
He directed me to the Park Lodge where they had food. With the inflated prices I could afford two packs of peanut butter crackers and a cup of coffee. Refills cost $.50, and I had enough for that. I got the stuff and sat down at a table on a lower level of the tiered dining room next to a table that adjoined the next higher level. Four young teenaged girls came and sat at that table above me with trays overflowing with food. They were just kids whose parents had given them credit cards. They laughed and giggled talking with each other as if I didn't exist. They just picked at their food while I sat there in great pain and stupifying hunger. I found myself in a rage at the injustice of.... something... and felt like I was on the edge of going berserk and killing every one of them.
I got up quickly and ran out of the building to wait for the bus. On the bus, the sense that I was forgetting was palpable. I saw it happening in a very overblown way. It was as if I was being prodded to take hold and remember. That I was supposed to remember. That it was extremely important for me to remember. It was like I was fighting for my life to remember. I sat in the front part of the bus talking out loud to myself. I knew I looked totally insane. The bus driver kept glancing back at me in his large rear mirror, but he said nothing. Mr. Dharma Bum, Mr. Nomad, Mr. Trip Master, broken down into a seemingly uncontrollable freak of nature.
Somehow I prevailed. The bus moved steadily downhill into the safety of the heat of the desert. As we got closer to Bakersfield I seemed to calm down, and when we arrived I found a vacant lot and laid down in the warm sand in absolute gratitude for surviving this ordeal.
Later, when I got back on the road hitch-hiking, I told every person that gave me a ride my story. A couple of them stopped and kicked me out of their cars. But, I had to remember, and I did not care whether they believed me or not. The telling was for me, and not for them.
As you can readily see, I'm still telling it. I can't afford to forget that the reality that lies beyond thought doesn't bequeath it's treasures in an orderly categorized way, such as it might seem the only way some will accept it. It comes like a thief in the night, and then, just as steathfully, will remove it from your conscious awareness as if it never happened in the first place.
Something like this may have happened to you. If you don't remember, then ...
felix
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.