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To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/02/10 13:03
Subject: [k-list] In the end...
From: One Man Alone

On 2003/02/10 13:03, One Man Alone posted thus to the K-list:

Hi, One Man Alone here. I mentioned before that I don't fear death anymore, this is still true, but what happens AFTER death is what I'm thinking about. I can't think of anything anymore BUT what happens after I kick the bucket. Right now in this life, I'm not really doing much, I'm trying to be an author, I'm writing and thinking. The problem is whatever I do to get though doesn't matter. I could end up writing a million best sellers, but that won't matter. I can't help feeling that if I don't do something terribly important with my life, that it's been worthless this whole damn time. But I actually feel like I WILL do something terribly important and it's pissing me off that I just have to wait around to find out what or even IF. Besides that, what about AFTER I die? Does God have an eternal purpose planned for everyone? I know we have Heaven waiting for us to live in peace for eternity, but that would get boring after a couple thousand years or so. Knowing that the story never ends is kind of scary. Not that I don't want to exist, but rather...(this is where I just wasn't sure). I mean, is it like what Green Goblin says in the (long time fan)Spider-Man movie? Do the billions of people on Earth only breath to hold a few special people over their shoulders? Am I just another guy? I don't like that. I want my life to mean something. But it's not going to, is it? Nope. It's not, actually. Because I'm as worthless as the keyboard I typed this on...Dammit. What I'm hoping is that Kundalini will eventually lead me to a real reason to live. I hoping that I will get a reason to live which will be for like another 80 friggin' years. So, am I just ranting or is this bothering other people? I mean I'm not exactly 110% normal. I have a few problems. But do I have a point?
Sign - One Man Alone

I will, or I shall die trying...


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