To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/02/04 23:55
Subject: [k-list] Sleep Paralysis
From: felix
On 2003/02/04 23:55, felix posted thus to the K-list:
On Tue, 04 Feb 2003 08:37:00 -0800
Mystress Angelique Serpent <Mystress AT_NOSPAM kundalini-gateway.org> wrote:
I would like to respond in parts. Your response has
stimulated so many thought-provoking reactions, and could
lead to a overly long post. ;-)
> At 03:43 AM 31/01/03, felix wrote:
> >Sure, in your position of pro dom it would seem as though
> >you might have developed a deeper understanding of how
> >people relate to the fear of sleep paralysis simply because
> >of you experience of dealing with the subject of fear in
> >general.
> Interesting assumption. I think my Shamanic experiences are more useful in this regard. As I understand it, the fear invoked in some sleep paralysis experiences is partly biochemical-neurological. There is no choice or logic involved. It is not simply fear of being immobilized, so much as a very primal fear that is triggered, along with the immobility.
> The big difference is one of consensuality... and that is a very big difference indeed, like the difference between sex and rape. Bondage fetishists have deliberately sought the experience, and can safeword out of the situation at any time. They are not really out of control... some say the sub is really the one in charge of the situation.
Yes, this makes a lot of sense. There would obviously exist
a huge difference between consenting to an experience, and
being subjected to one forced by biochemical instinct
patterns. As far as a safeword is concerned, could I assume
this is an agreed upon solution between dom and a sub? Maybe
I was thinking more of a sadist and masochist situation.
My first encounter/awareness of this type of activity was
reading Count de Sade in Taiwan simply because it was a
banned book in the U.S., and my curiosity wouldn't let it
alone. There are degrees of intensity or levels of preoccupation in this area I am not familiar with. Your
brief description of fetishists appear more consensual than
de Sade wrote about.
> Sleep paralysis comes without asking, it is a different kind of out of control feeling, and an unreasoning fear born of brain stimulation. There is no human to safeword to, and the intensity of the fear is much greater than what the average fetishist is looking for.
>
> I would say, it probably has a closer relationship with what some awakened folks experience, if they face the doorway to ego death too soon. All the hidden fears of karma coming up all at once, can really make you wig out... but it is not really the same as that, either.
Originally, my thinking/wondering seemed to concern itself
more with the notion that the emotional response associated
with sleep paralysis might condition someone to seek bondage
according to whether that emotional response was experienced
in a positive or negative way, and whether seeking to
reproduce that emotional response in a controlled
environment was based on their sleep paralysis experiences.
I guess I have issues with the way some people use the term
"ego", such that their descriptions leave me wondering what
they are really referring to. I like the way Castanada used
a description of self importance as the biggest deterrent to
spiritual development.
I've noticed in my own behavior, humiliation resulting from
words and actions that were designed to make myself look
more powerful or important than was really the case. In
these situations it didn't seem so much to be an ego problem
as some faux pride manifestation that could not withstand
the light of reason or my own inflated sense of worth.
Ego death, in this regard, might seem welcomed as a relief
from humiliation, even though humiliation does have the
power to induce humbleness or modesty, or at the very least,
caution of an extraordinary vigilant nature. Whereas a death
of the ego aspect of the tripartite personality of id, ego,
superego, might exist as another can of worms.
Schizophrenia?
felix
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