To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/01/31 10:36
Subject: Re: [k-list] my grandmother's passing
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2003/01/31 10:36, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 01:16 AM 31/01/03, LAURA.EDWARDS AT_NOSPAM sbcglobal.net wrote:
>Dear E-list friends,
>
>My grandmother passed peacefully in her sleep this
>evening at about 9PM pacific time.
How strange, the list orbit tonight. Two passed on, one young and troubled, the other old and peaceful.
>Among the many gifts, the one most precious to me
>is the ability to recognize when Spirit talks to me.
>I finally understand the "still, small voice".
:) What a wonderful blessing that is! :) Having clarity on the inner guidance, changes everything.
>Cold is the noonday sun and dark
>
>Compared to the spark
>
>of my living life and love.
That is very resonant for me.
Age 2, I woke in the night, having just travelled upward through a tunnel, away from an intense, vast bright light full of so much love, that said I was its child. The separation was painful, I had to get back there, right away! I climbed out of my crib and tried to go out into the garden to dig up the light. I was too little, I could not get the door open. I decided to see if digging in one of my mother's plantpots would reveal it.
It seemed unlikely, but worth a try. I found a popsicle stick and set to it, being careful not to injure the plant. I had just reached the bottom of the pot when my family awoke. They could let me outside so I could dig!
My mother inquired what I was doing, and I told her I was looking for light. She laughed at me, digging to find Light, and pointed to lamps and the sun outside.
My feeling about the sun, was exactly as your poetry describes... and the realization that she did not know about the Light, was devastating. A child who realizes she is wiser than her parents, is really alone in the world. I decided she was not my real mother, the Light was. It had told me so. Orphaned myself, and never really trusted her again... and I did not realize that the still small voice, that asked me if that was *really* a choice I wanted to make, was the voice of that same Light, inside me. Did not make that connection for 25 more years... even tho, I never lost the voice. Never thought to ask it what it was.
It was all so funny, Mom smeared mud on my cheeks and took my picture, but I refused to smile for the camera. First experience of ego resisting. She has it on her mantle piece. A tiny girl in a one piece sleeper, standing beside a plantpot, popsicle stick in hand, big eyes about to overflow with tears of a heart breaking.
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