To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/01/31 08:38
Subject: Re: [k-list] Suicide
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2003/01/31 08:38, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 10:03 PM 30/01/03, Acara wrote:
>Dear List,
> His mother, two
>sisters, grandfather, and his step father were just
>here. I could only hold them and cry with them. They
>will return. I must give brettr council, more than
>tears. Blessings, Acara
Acara:
My sympathies with your grief. As the other members have already told you, your tears, compassion and attention is the best to offer. Your heart guided you wisely. There are no magic words to soothe away the pain they are feeling. Only time can heal them. Just be there, hold them, and listen.
I get frustrated and angry at suicides, to me it seems the most selfish and cruel act, and so foolish. A permanent, irrevocable solution to a short term problem. Even so, I know that it appears to be the only option, to them at the time. Suicidal people only think to end their own pain, too caught up in it to consider the devastation they cause to those who love them.
His family will tear at themselves, wondering what they could have done better, or differently, blaming themselves and trying to change the past. It is a natural reaction. Later, there will be anger at the lost one, at each other... but really, no-one is to blame.
He was mentally ill, and he died of it. In many ways, it is not so different than if some other illness took his life, like a brain embolism or heart attack... except for the emotional reaction of the bereaved. His family may wish to tell some story like that, to avoid having to discuss the painful truth to people who may judge it, and them. Advise them that they have that option.
Sympathies, and blessings...
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