To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/01/24 19:14
Subject: [k-list] unfolding toes
From: José H
On 2003/01/24 19:14, José H posted thus to the K-list:
My toes have always curled - they were bent underneath eachother. Somebody once commented me I should not wear high heals so much. Well, I only started wearing them at 28 - university graduation - and hardly ever do now. I clearly remember my mother telling me I was born with those bent toes. They always were like that, I could not stretch them.
A few years ago I realized why and smiled about it: there is this expression in dutch - don't know if you have it in english - that says something like "sitting with bent toes" (kromme tenen), which means something like: being in a situation where you are very irritated, wound up about the things that are happening around you, but you are powerless to do something about it, express yourself. People saying stupid things, arguing. I realized I had lots of reason to sit in my motherswomb like that - with my father trying to force abortion on her, threatening her and finally leaving before I was born.
Anyway.....I never grounded, really fully incarnated into my body until I was 36. Around 5 years or so after K awoke. I am still struggling to stay grounded at times.
Now I am 40, and this morning I was standing bare feet in the kitchen, with my small son crawling around, when he started playing with my toes. I started wiggling my toes and paying attention to them for the first time again, when I suddenly saw that they were stretching out besides eachother!!
Sounds pretty weird maybe - but me being able to stretch my toes side by side is really a miracle....
I hope they will help me to stay grounded.
Love to all,
José
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