To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/01/18 02:39
Subject: [k-list] Brain Helmet
From: Lady Joyce
On 2003/01/18 02:39, Lady Joyce posted thus to the K-list:
David wrote: The paralysis intersecting with consciousness in and of itself is not so frightening.
It's the fact that I dream an intruder is breaking into the house while not being able to move.
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>>Hillary wrote: It happens to me virtually nightly. Amazing stuff. Almost always blissful, but sometimes there are moments of fear. Is it the same experience, I wonder?
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>>Joyce writes: In my experience, definitely not!!! Bliss is bliss and fear is fear. All joking aside, there is no illusion that you can offer me that says they are the same. (Don't even try it, Lobster) David, years ago when I was in college, I experienced something similar to what you describe. I always felt as if I were in some suspended state, not asleep, but unable to move as if I were asleep and dreaming the experience.
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>>But I did not want to be asleep. I wanted to get up. I would try and my body would not move. I did not feel as if I were asleep, but that I was awake. It was not the same as when you have a dream that you can't run or scream. I can still remember the feelings and the sensation that I was conscious, not asleep. That is part of why is was so frightening.
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>>My body would feel as if I were sinking, being pushed down into my bed and I could not resist. The power overwhelmed me and seemed to want to take over. I felt fear because I felt as if it were evil. The presence was suffocating to me, almost like my dark side trying to assert itself. This happened for almost a year...I was living in a dormitory which was right next to a really old cemetary. I could look out my window and see the mist around the graveyard in the morning. I used to think that it was the unsettled spirits coming into my window for a walk on the wild side!
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>>I can joke about it now. But it scared me then, very much. It finally stopped and has not happened since. Now to the present. Yes, Hillary, sometimes I would experience fear upon receiving bliss, but that was usually because I was afraid of my own vulnerability to and need and desire for the bliss. I did not try to get up. I did not want to get up. There never was or has been anything suffocating about it. I pray to be the prey. You can break into my house anytime you want.
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>>LOL,
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>>Joyce
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