To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/01/10 14:24
Subject: Re: [k-list] random thoughts as I unwind.. was Re: Oy!! Never d
From: Shellelr
On 2003/01/10 14:24, Shellelr posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 1/10/2003 5:39:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, Mystress AT_NOSPAM Kundalini-Gateway.org writes:
>Now we are 37. Welcome new/old members!
>
>I have to say again, it gave me a great deal of personal satisfaction to have the K-list rise like a pheonix from the ashes, within hours of it being deleted. Reborn, in beauty.
>
> Shit happens, as Goddess Wills. Make lemonade. I wish I had followed through on an impulse to download a copy of the member list yesterday, but I did not, and that is that.
I could go through the few digests in my old mail and get some names, if that would help?
> I do not know if this new list will ever reach the past total of 950 members.
I guess the ones who want to be here will find us. The thing that saddens me is the loss of all the archived conversations. Maybe this is a lesson about attachment.
> As I write this, the new owners of my lists are moving me from owner, to moderator, to member, to unsubbed... the notifications are coming in. Feels strange. Like pieces of me, being gently removed, some kind of surgery. I know it is not permanent, they will add me again when the time is right. It is just interesting, observing the feelings. There is loss, but also freedom. Strange.
>
Last month I was laid off from my job as an editor at a major publisher, along with 20% of my division. My first lay-off ever, and quite a shock to my system. It was a great job in a lot of ways, with various benefits and conveniences, good friends, and the work was often interesting. For these reasons I would never have left it on my own, although I was constantly plagued by the feeling that it was not my truest work or the best use of my time.
So as I sat listening to the corporate HR person giving me the lay-off spiel, I was thinking: Here It Is. I couldn't do it myself, so it's being done for me. I left there feeling a lot of the usual ego things, but also strangely relieved and exhilirated, and quite sure that I'd been given a major Divine nudge.
I also received so much concern and love and offers of help from my coworkers, friends and family, that I walked around in a sort of love glow, feeling really special in ways I hadn't before. It was nice!
I have returned to freelance work for the time being at least, and it has been incredible, the way leads, contacts, and offers of work have come to me either out of the blue or with very little effort on my part.
I now also have time and mental space for some other things in my life that are important and need doing. So, a door closed, and new ones have opened.
>Hard work, house shopping is tiring, and moving will be even more so, but it will feel really good to have a not-rented home. Makes my heart warm to think of it.
>
It will feel GREAT!!! Believe me! We bought our first house two years ago.
> I recognise your pattern because I used to do the same thing! Get attached to something, get stuck in some astral world and forget how to get out. Finally, kind of wrote myself a manual. Got to thinking about manuals.
>
Are you talking about obsessing, here? Because that is my BIG ISSUE. I manage it better now than I ever have, but I'll take any wisdom I can get!
> Sure, there will still be people asking for help, friends help each other... compassion is invaluable... but I have often thought the real value is simply in the company of like minds.
Without the yahoo advertising, we will not be getting so many new members, and
>instead I would encourage people to share more about what is going on in their lives. Maybe even loosen up the guidelines a little.
Sounds great!
>Glad I have grown into someone who can handle this sort of hassle and come out smiling. Thank you Goddess!
I know what you mean.
> I do appreciate other members sending complaints!
>
Well, I tried to build quite a case. Don't know if it will help.
>druid suggested I was accused of being a prostitute...
>
I thought that might be what he did, too. And he called me "puritanical" for wanted to wash his darkness away. This guy was not a rational person. More than a bit of madness going on there.
>
>
> Yesterday, I was wanting to sue the fat ass troll!
Where is Lady Joyce when we need her? Around here somewhere, I hope! :0)
But today, I am too tired to fight. I kind of feel sad for him. I think someone must
>have a lot of pain inside to act out in this way. Some of his behavior I understand... His projections are transparent, jealousy. He had to write his own testimonials.
Many of the links in the various "guest book" signings on his website lead to porn sites. So weird.
His textbook understanding of K. is impressive, if erroneous, but I am doubtful that
>he has had much experience of it, if any. Jealousy, frustration and anger fuels him. What an awful way to live.
>
This is what my husband and I were talking about last night. He talks like he knows his subject, but he clearly does not know it intimately and probably wants to. Which is why he puts down, insults, tries to undermine, and generally abuses anyone who says they may be experiencing K.
Blessings to you, Angelique, and all here with us.
Shelle
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