To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/12/01 23:35
Subject: Re: [K-list] navigating duality and mutuality
From: LK

Hi Holly,

thank you so much for responding. the clarity of your words comforted and
strengthened me. i feel like a child right now with no mother, not knowing
how to soothe and hold myself, not knowing what to do with these intense
feelings or what is being asked of me, but i am an adult, this relationship
is kicking me in the ass

what you wrote made alot of sense and i am going to try to remember it when
i start to get confused about which way to turn to run away from having to
experience this, it is hard not to feel like i am being punished, a half a
decade worth of punished, it is generally too big of a task for me to face
with acceptance

i really appreciated these words:

>Perhaps some kind of healing for you is near, waiting for you to know >that
>it is okay for you to love your friend just as you do while she >is
>somewhat ambiguous in her response. You don't have to make things
> >comfortable for her (or yourself). You don't have to be understanding
> >and on top of the situation. You don't even have to stick around if >you
>don't want to. You just accept that things are as they are and, >just for
>now at least, there is nothing you can do, or should do, to >make things
>better. From this place of deep acceptance, the
>next step may become self-evident. Hollyi just have a really hard time holding and remaining in that stance. it
feels like what i keep trying to ask myself to do, or usually i feel i have
no choice in the matter and this drives me bolistic. i generally forget
that it is ok for me to love her, it is what was given to me, actually i
turn on it and try to get rid of it, i tell it i am not appropriate and it
is my responsibility to change into what she needs or we won't be able to
stay friends

yikes, vulnerability,

love,
laura

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm

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