To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/11/28 08:16
Subject: Re: [K-list] loving the dying
From: Lady Joyce
On 2002/11/28 08:16, Lady Joyce posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Susan:
Thank you for sharing your love with us. I read your post yestderday and
kept thinking about it. I became the woman you helped. :-)
This is what I feel: I am so helpless. I know I am dying. I am so ugly now
and so helpless. So much pain. All these people touching my body. All these
people looking at me. God, please just let me die. I don't want to depend
upon them or anyone else. But I have no choice. God has put me here.
I am so humiliated. I cannot even get up to go the bathroom. They are going
to bring the commode here. people walking around. No privacy anymore. But
wait, loving eyes. Loving helping hands. Love holding me for just a few
precious moments in time. Thank you God, for eveything.
Thank you Susan, for sharing the Love.
Love ,Joyce
----- Original Message -----
From: "lionessbleu1" <divine_goddessATnospamhotmail.com>
To: <K-list >
Sent: Wednesday, November 27, 2002 1:59 PM
Subject: [K-list] loving the dying> Yesterday at work I received a direct admit from a doctor's office,
> a breast cancer patient coming in for management of her chronic pain.
>
> She is only 40, her youngest daughter is 4. On her chest you can see
> where the cancer has eaten away through her chest wall. She has big
> gaping cavities under her arms stuffed with bandages.
>
> She was on 100 mg of Morphine twice a day and it wasn't holding her
> so she was brought in to be started on a running IV of morphine. She
> is spirialing downward.
>
> As I work as an RN in a teaching hospital there was many interns and
> residents in the room because she had come in to rule out cardiac
> tamponade also. This is a clinical emergency because it means the
> sac surrounding the heart was filling with fluid which would keep
> the heart from beating. She was in great, great pain.
>
> During the course of the evening she had to urinate but she was too
> weak to walk to the bathroom. I found a bedside commode and began to
> assist her. Her cheeks were wet with tears, shivering with pain
> because the single 4 mg IV doses of Morphine I gave her did not last
> very long. (We were waiting for the setup for the IV pump to come up
> from pharmacy to give her continuous Morphine.)
>
> She was apologetic for having to lean on me as I extended my arms to
> her. I held her as I slipped her pants down so she could sit on the
> commode. I instructed her to slow her breaths, make them deep. She
> looked at me with such deep pain in her eyes, still apologetic
> because she felt like a burden. I took her in my arms, stroked her
> head and told her she could lean as much as she wanted because I
> held her and I wouldn't let her go.
>
> I felt my heart melt as the Shakti swirled around us and we held
> each other for a short time, as intimate as lovers. We both exhaled
> and inhaled our breaths together.
>
> I love how Shakti enriches my every day experiences.
>
> Do you?
>
> Namaste,
> Susan
>
>
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