To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/11/14 02:41
Subject: Re: [K-list] RE: soul retrieval: Lavina
From: lavinaleone
On 2002/11/14 02:41, lavinaleone posted thus to the K-list:
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., Mystress Angelique Serpent
<mystressATnospamf...> wrote:
> At 07:47 PM 12/11/02, lavinaleone wrote:
> >I have purposely not opened any other posts on this thread.
Only to
> >find you writting about it in this one.
>
> :) Sorry.
Considering all the energy I was putting into avoiding this it is no
wonder that it caught up with me. I know doing that is as good as
jumping out and singing Yoou Whoo, over here!
It is fortuntate that it worked out this way. Your insights have been
very helpful. Thank you.
>
> >So much for hiding out from
> >it. I admit, the first one spooked me a little.
> >But reading this one now I am not sure it should have.
>
> I dunno why it would. The words are simple, a gentle
prayer with no
> hidden agenda.
I did not think there was, I was more inclined to think that I gooped
up the works myself swaying between did I want to do this or didn't
I.
And then as you say...
> My intentions were crystal clear consensuality. But if your
body wanted it and you resisted,
> procrastinated... Goddess wins.
>
> >I got sick to
> >my stomach, I ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to
puke, but
> >only expelled, painfully hard, Hot Air. Luckily it was early
and I
> >had not eaten.
>
> Barfing kriyas, I call them. Barfing up karma. You
*probably* would
> not have actually vomited, even if you had eaten... but the
dry heaves can
> be powerful, whole body contractions intense like having a
baby... It is a
> very powerful release.
That sounds about right. But the thing I have encountered did
not want to go.
>
> I cannot recall them being a symptom of soul retrieval
before, tho.
> Soul retrievals can be emotionally intense, but generally of
the "being
> overwhelmed with beauty and coming home" kind.
>
This is nothing like that. I went looking for it much as you said to,
only I wasn't looking anymore for my soul, but for what I am feeling
in my throat and chest. What I found is no beauty. This thing is
about a foot tall looks like a malnurished troll, gray with short
curley hair matted to his body. He has long ape like toes that
he has wrapped around my lower ribs. His fists are in a death
grip with my collarbone and his teeth are embedded in the flappy
thing at the back of my throat. He intends to go screaming and
fighting, if he goes at all.
When I asked him to leave he got rude. When I told him to leave he
blew himself up like a balloon and cut off my air supply leaving
barely enough room in my chest for my heart to beat. He called me an
ungrateful B*tch. And asked me where I expected him to go. I left him
there for the time being. Maybe he will cool off.
If this is my soul, I am in deep trouble.
> Most often barfing kriyas come of
> a) intense shaktipat
> b) inner child work
> c) clearing the power chakra.
> d) some other kind of intense karmic release.
> Any or all.
>
I haven't done anything directly to do any of these things that I
know of.
A while ago I experienced my Divine Beloved but that was a surprise,
the only thing I have really worked at is surrender.
This made me think though:
>
> PS: I was moved to reopen this queued post and tell you...
often, abused
> children try to protect the soul from harm by encasing it in a
shell, like
> a steel ball a little smaller than an egg right at the power
chakra.
> Children know it is their most precious thing, and under
conditions of
> trauma the soul leaves the body. Clinical detachment, a divine
mercy.
> Freaks them out, so when it returns, they lock it up. Like
hiding jewels in
> a vault to keep them safe. Then they forget where they put it,
forget they
> ever had it... the soul retrieval cracks the shell wide open.
>
Is it possible that some unsuspecting soul got himself mixed up
with me? I don't know, maybe like, his services were bartered for to
hide my soul *for* me? Perhaps he thinks I am ungrateful because I
have not fulfilled my end of the barter. Or something. I
wonder because he says I am ungrateful and he thinks I should have
somewhere for him to go. I don't know.
> I have encountered this, perhaps 1/2 dozen times. It is not
effective,
> but it is understandable. The thing is, without the souls
radiance, they
> tend to collect a lot more stuff. A 1/2 soul retrieval... would
trigger the
> stuff but not fully release the soul. Clearing is messier.
>
There is a lovely thought. Messier huh? Maybe this is a job for
the caped BD : )
> I think the "spooky" feeling may have been a memory of the
fear that
> moved the child to protect the soul. Of course, I could be
mistaken... :)
> Perhaps the nausea and my email are not related at all. Do
what you feel.
>
I don't know if this is a very smart thing to do, but I can't see
the harm either. I think I will take this up with my DB and see if
She can get to the bottom of it.
I read that when some part of ourselves feels unloved that it will
act up. And loving that part can straiten it out. This thing does not
look or feel anything like what I would want my soul to be. If it is
then it is going to take some doing to love it.
I am not sure what to think right now.
I had this idea of what my DB would be like too and She turned
out to be nothing at all like I thought He would be.
Thank you for the gift Angelique. I have not actually played with it
yet, but the wrapping has been ... unique.
Lavina
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http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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