To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/11/13 01:06
Subject: [K-list] When disease entered
From: J.E.M.
On 2002/11/13 01:06, J.E.M. posted thus to the K-list:
Dear All,
About 9 1/2 years ago, right in the midst of K awakening, I was becoming
extremely sensitive to my environment, becoming miserable in working in
a Life Insurance Co. more specifically a brokerage office where we would
be in constant contact with many brokers, many of them being dishonest
people and I felt like I had nothing in common and was in the wrong
place. I deeply wanted to return to study music, my lifetime calling,
but I let fear get in the way. The way disease came upon me was by
gradual discomforts and little signals my body was sending me that I
ignored untill one afternoon, an intolerable abdominal pain forced me
right out of the office and 9 1/2 years later I have still not been able
to return. I was on sick leave for a few months with a severe case of
the Irritable bowel and gut syndrome diagnosis (my system was in such
bad inflammation that I could hardly even swallow water, just by mini
sips). We thaught I might not make it having lost so much weight but I
was blessed by the presence of a few people including my brother who
knew exactly what was happening and I am profoundly grateful my dear
brother for believeing in me, in you, in K... I love you David M. You're
like butter... O.K., now I'm forclempt (excuse the spelling), talk
amongst yourselves for a moment, here's a topic: tomatoes are a
fruit... Once out of the hospital, as I was lying down on my couch one
afternoon I felt something wrong, a dis-ease creeping down my lower
body, my legs down to my feet. I was really observing what was happening
to me which has then braught me way more difficulty with my body.
Although they diagnosed me from then on with a hypersensitivity proper
to Fibromyalgia, I always wondered about the way it creeped-up on me
that way on that specific afternoon. Since then, the disease has changed
faces, moved around. I was eventually able to accept it without
resenting it, nor feeling guilty or judging myself for it. This has
allowed me to live better with it without falling into a victimisation
pattern which was just not an option for me. I found a way to see what
this disease could bring be, teach me, having always been one to see the
glass half full rather than half empty. I quickly recognized that it has
forced me back home to my instruments allowing me to work on my music
and surrender to the awesome inspiration to compose which was also
entering my life at that time. Now, as fear is being lifted as I am
letting go of it, disease is also making its bow out of my life as it is
done with what it had to offer me and I am grateful for it.
Thanks for your time,
Peace, Love and Humor in All,
Julie
spam deletedPZMC/kTmEAA/ASSHAA/AtTslB/TM
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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