To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/11/07 22:04
Subject: Re: [K-list] need for assistance
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/11/07 22:04, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 05:35 PM 07/11/02, angelmouser2ATnospamaol.com wrote:
>Usually I force myself to feel the emotions so that I can release them I am
>getting fearless but this is much different when I feel these emotions it is
>the kind that could make you go insane or I fear losing control.
Sometimes, surrender means letting Shakti do the work, and just being
patient while Goddess handles it. I think I know the fear you speak of, and
it is not a door to be challenged. Let it unfold in its own time.
You were never in control... that is the illusion.
> I have kids
>to take care of so I can not lose control and I am not sure what to do these
>blockages are making me feel sooo sick I still feel the emotion it is at the
>edge of surfacing one look at my chakra and it will surface again.
Blind terror, fear of death and worse, fear of madness that is an
unending nightmare. Bravery will not get you through this. Courage is no
help. Faith helps a little, but hope goes backwards into fear of the future
and the desire to control what will Be, that is its shadow.
> What am I
>supposed to do I have Reiki'd it and worked with it but it is not helping
Nope. Those are efforts to control. This requires unconditional
surrender. Back off. Go into the Witness state.
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/witness.htm
>I am afraid the only way I will get it to release is to face it. What will
>happen to me if I face it I once again
like a door unexpectedly opening to a vast dark chasm at your feet,
pulling you in...
>can not tell you all how severe this
>emotion was I believe it was a worse panic than being attacked. I am not a
>quiter and this seems to be the worst block I have left each time I have
>chaotic rises this is the worst obstical and I have avoided it too many
>times. I think Goddess is losing her patience.
No, you are the one who is impatient. You are the one wanting to
change what is, wanting to heal yourself with reiki etc. Fools rush in.
I think, you may be encountering the doorway to ego death. It is
terrifying in proportion to how much karma remains. Getting past it
requires levels of surrender you are not managing, yet. Leave it be, and
eventually it will come to you like a lover, seductive and sweet like a
stroll through flowers. Try to storm the gates and ... well, just don't.
Better to have a sore stomach than an insane mind.
of course, I could be wrong. :)
>As I praying and shaking asking Goddess to let the fear go there was many
>beams of white light entering my body and my guide was standing over me but
but the guide could do nothing, because this door is yours to cross...
been there.
>I
>really believe I will have to have another physical being to help me if I
>release it I dont know what it will make me want to do I wanted to kill
>myself in that split second that I let the peak of the emotion surface.
Give your life, and your death to Goddess.
>Anyone please help if you have had experience in this or could help. The
>worst of it seems to be in the 2nd chakra.
That chakra is the seat of emotions... stormy angel mouse, when will
you find peace? Stop messing around with this. Goddess has it handled, if
only you will be patient. This too, shall pass.
Blessings...
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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