To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/11/02 00:14
Subject: [K-list] Caring about others
From: Angelmouser2
On 2002/11/02 00:14, Angelmouser2 posted thus to the K-list:
Kristy responce below :)** Tis true, though. I sense sarcasm in your reply, but
perhaps I am reflecting again. In any case, I learned this
ability back in Middle School. I had spent all my school
years, from kindergarten, being told I was different. Kids
picked on me and beat me up, no matter which school I went
to. By the time I was in Middle School, I was bitter and
had given up on trying to get friends. I decided that if
everyone was going to see me as different, I was going to
BE different. I taught myself how to stop caring what
others thought of the way I dressed, fixed my hair or
make-up, the things I liked and believed in. I even went
so far as to actually get rid of my southern accent. I
did it, too (until later, in high school, i started dating,
then married, a redneck. i got the accent back then and
never tried to get rid of it again.).
** Whenever there was a fad, I hated the focus of that fad.
I hated designer jeans (Jordache) when they were "in". I
hated Members Only jackets when they were "in". I hated
Michael Jackson and Prince when they were "in". But then
generally, I'd start liking something after the fade
ended up phasing itself "out". I guess it was probably
best for me and my Mom that way, too, cuz we really
didn't have the money to be buying expensive "in style"
things anyway.Dear Holly,
Wow I see so much of myself in that top paragraph hehe. Actually I am
thinking in my view this is proof that you do care but about what others
think. You just arent ready to face it becuase it brings out deep emotions.
I had some similair childhood problems so I also rebelled and still do but I
have determined I do so becuase I am angry at the people that made me feel
bad. They said I was diff so I decided sure I am and I intended on proving
that they were right. I have always tried to be the different one but deep
down I know anger at them makes me want to do this. My anger at them for
there views makes me want to rebel like a teenager. So obviously, like you I
do care. I am just finally learning that I dont have to rebel I can do what
I want even if it happens to be what they are doing.
I am not a teenager by 7 years now I am an adult so who I am I really
rebelling against God only knows. I am mearly expressing the anger and hurt
and belittlement of my childhood. I felt unspecial and unloved but I wanted
to be special too. So if I couldnt be like them than I would have to just be
as different as I could and really set myself apart. So if you listen to
what you are saying from where I am you will see that you have much anger
also and are hurt and do care what the world thinks it is human. This is my
view and dont be ashamed of it if you are you just have to get through it.
Love and Light,
Kristy
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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