To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/10/31 02:34
Subject: Re: [K-list] How Many Passive aggressive behaviors does it take to change Lisa's mind? .
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/10/31 02:34, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 04:55 PM 30/10/02, Lady C wrote:
>Dear Lisa,
>
>By the content of your posts it seems you haven't been here for very long.
She first posted Sept. 25. She was requested to read the guidelines
when she joined the list, as all new members are, and reminded again
recently when she complained that her posts were not reaching the list.
Seems like nobody has responded to the majority of her posts, probably
because for most of them, she ignored yet another list guideline request,
and did not change the subject header to reflect the content of the post.
When the subject header says Digest # xxxx, most people do not bother to
read it.
>That would explain a lot, but since the
>url to the faq has been posted for your benefit several times, by list
>moderators, and you don't seem to feel the need to read it, nor do you seem
>to understand the function of a moderator, this idle discourse continues.
Actually, I think she is unconsciously acting out to validate my
assessment of her... which is a very funny irony. Actions speak louder than
words.
She does not flame me, that would be *overt* aggression. Instead she
posts my private mail to the list, without my consent but with many
patronizing remarks. No biggie, I have nothing to hide, but it is bad
manners to share *any* private correspondence without permission, be it
email or snail mail. There is no need for a guideline about it. Sharing
private mail with the intent of insulting the author is disrespectful,
tacky and rude.
Posting without bothering to snip the post I wrote to Holly2, breaks
another guideline.
Asking for help, then finding fault with what is offered, and biting
the hand that feeds, is a classic passive aggressive strategy.
Next, she behaves very rudely towards the ever-patient Hillary without
provocation, justifying it by having decided in her own mind that she is
being victimized. Passive aggression. Not content with that mischief, she
goes ahead and breaks list guidelines yet again with the forwarded light
bulbs post.
She plays dumb about the guidelines she has broken, pretending
ignorance despite having been repeatedly requested to read them. Passive
aggressors never take responsibility for their bad behavior. It is always
someone else, who is at fault.
What was it she wrote about her Mother?
> > >but she does try to still, the whole play victim, projecting thing and
> > >gets me all turning into an agressive or defending role.
She tried to pull Hillary into that same game, playing victim and
projecting... but Hillary is too wise to get pulled in. She projected her
own nosiness onto Hillary, with a few more rude comments, when Hillary is
only doing her job... Moderating is not easy work, and an often thankless
task. Being rude to Hillary is enough for me to choose to put her on
moderated status... but Hillary handled it and she is choosing tolerance,
so I'll surrender to that.
> She even
> > >works it sometimes to play on my love for her as her child to be her
> > >protector when she tries to cause problems where there was none with
> > >others. Know what I mean?
That, is the pattern behind her posting my private mail to the list,
with her comments. Trying to get the list to be her protector from big bad
Mystress... creating problems where there were none... That game did not
work as she hoped, so she upped the stakes of her victim/aggressive
tactics, deciding the "Mystresses lackies" were all conspiring against her.
Poor baby... Increasing her pose of victimhood gave her an excuse to be
even more insulting and rude.
> > >I end up having to play the hero role or leader, and I do not like to
> > >do that.
Same game as you got pulled into, and Melissa... taking on a
leadership, almost a maternal role to ask Lisa to calm down and behave
herself.
Like Mother, like daughter. So it goes.
> > I am more submissive and more comfortable in a more passive role, but I
> > allow people and especially those closest to me, to play me into
> > being too dominating or loud for my own comfort zone. Then I feel like
> > "What just happened here?"
She will be posting that song, tomorrow, saying it is someone else's
fault that she was "played into" being too loud and dominating... "played
into" being overtly aggressive, when her comfort zone is being passive
aggressive. Heh.
>That's your perogative, those of us watching your drama are yawning, others
>are pressing delete, not much moreis going on.
Yup. The drama is dull, tho I am kind of amused at being so colourfully
validated,... Lisa's actions do speak much louder than her protestations of
how she is not a passive aggressive person... but really, I'm too tired
from a very busy day to get a good belly laugh out of it.
The bondage furniture did not all get completed, I ran out of time
before the truck came tonight and hauled most of it away. I took a few
precious moments out to give Lisa feedback, ASAP as she requested... That
was my choice, obviously not appreciated. Silly of me to spend time
responding to her post when I had so much work of my own to deal with, but
that tends to be *my* pattern. <shrug> O well... I have no regrets.
The whole drama is dull, boring, childish... I am taking a certain
sadistic pleasure in calmly dissecting Lisa and nailing her hide to the
barn door.
Lisa: You got it wrong, several times. I'm not passive aggressive, or
PMSing, or even angry or annoyed... I'm a dominant sadist, openly,
notoriously. I do not have to be angry to enjoy dissecting you like a frog
in a grade 8 science project. It is rather enjoyable for me. A nice way to
unwind from a busy day. Relaxing. Effortless. Entertaining.
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA~~~!!
My original response to your post, the private message that you
forwarded, was rushed, but compassionate... this post, is for my own
sadistic pleasure... possibly it is of some benefit to the list members
understanding of the behavior of passive aggressive personalities... thank
you for demonstrating that, by example.
>Mental masturbations such as this can and (obviously) do occur during high
>energy times.
The high energy acting out stuff is not random. The energy tends to
poke hidden karmic issues and ineffective patterns to the surface, and
magnify them so colourfully that they cannot be ignored, denied or
repressed again. The value in this thread, is in how generously ;) heh Lisa
has offered herself as an example of this phenomena in action.
A secondary value would be if Lisa actually makes a change... but I am
not holding my breath.
Blessings...
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