To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/10/29 20:23
Subject: [K-list] Re: Manipulative, Drama-Queen Martyr
From: Lisa Ayers
On 2002/10/29 20:23, Lisa Ayers posted thus to the K-list:
True, I am better off not hiding my being sometimes
too curious for my own good, which sometimes edges
over into being in the "nosey" dept. at least that is
my opinion, lol! We all have them, right?
To be honest though, the main reason I did not post
not post it to the whole group is because I do not
want people to know I am not so much of a strong Xena
type person as I am sometimes forced to be by people
and circumstances. Sometimes it is hader to appear
vulnerable when you are used to being around spiritual
vampires whom are all to swift to try to take
advantage of your niceness/seeming weakness.
As for me playing the passive-aggressive or
judgemental game, too tiring, and draining. lol!
That is why as I thought I had mentioned in that post,
I try to not counter agressive words and behaviors
with further agressive words and behaviors. TO do so
would be too hypocritical on my part for my own
comfort and peace of mind.
Also, I should state that I do not believe in being
totally NON judgemental, as I believe that all people
make judgements every second they choose one thing
over another. Like just getting out of bed in the
morning instead of staying in bed, thus, I had to make
a personal judgement as to which I felt was the better
of the two choices/options available to me at the
time.
Fortunately I tned to choose to get out of bed. :)
I do believe that when one is percieving the choice of
not judging or judging another person one must try not
to do so, as we seldom are empathetic enough to tune
in to their spirit 100% purely. Thus, any/all
judgements are being sifted through our own slanted
viewpoints. No one can honestly claim to be 100%
objective in any such judgement.
I won't say that you were projecting your own feelings
or perceptions on me.
I am not passive-agressive. :)
Thus, why I won't go there.
I also won't flame you either.
I am not into wasting so much energy & time.
I will thank you for trying to be a help on this as
best you could in your own personal capacity. I am
sure you meant/mean well and do so in all love, as you
claim to.
((((Healing Hugs))))
~*~Blessings~*~
Lisa (uswrite)
--- Mystress Angelique Serpent
<MystressATnospamfire-serpent.com> wrote:
> I'm very busy today, so this will be brief.
>
> Re: being nosey? It is a discussion list, and this
> stuff is up for
> discussion. Go for it. Sharing that you found value
> in the content of the
> thread is normal discussion. Ego is protecting
> itself, with this off list
> post. Dance naked.
>
> RE; Your mother. Just love her. The way to win the
> game is to not play it.
> There is nothing to defend, nothing to protect. Stop
> trying to change her,
> stop judging her as needing to change... that
> behavior stuff is YOUR
> passive aggression. She is a reflection of you. You,
> playing at being her
> victim. Spewing judgments.
>
> Additionally... ever consider that your fear of
> appearing nosey is a
> power game also? Aloof control strategy. You are
> nosey. Own it.
>
> Blessings!
>
>
> At 01:45 PM 29/10/02, you wrote:
> >I read this all the way through, and the others
> too. I am not sure
> >that I saw the post that got this whole thing going
> though, lol. I
> >have NO idea what started the problem and I am not
> going to get any
> >more nosey than I have already dared, lol.
> >
> >I just had to say that as I was reading through,
> especially this last
> >post by you, I was learning a lot about myself and
> some of my
> >relationships with those closest to me, my mother
> for one.
> >
> >I had heard many different people over the years
> call her
> >passive-aggressive. And you know what? It is true!
> I really realized
> >this by reading what you said in this post. She
> plays me not as much
> >as before, THANK GODDESS, I am learning. :)
> >
> >but she does try to still, the whole play victim,
> projecting thing and
> >gets me all turning into an agressive or defending
> role. She even
> >works it sometimes to play on my love for her as
> her child to be her
> >protector when she tries to cause problems where
> there was none with
> >others. Know what I mean?
> >
> >I end up having to play the hero role or leader,
> and I do not like to
> >do that. I guess I am the other side of the coin. I
> am more submissive
> >and more comfortable in a more passive role, but I
> allow people and
> >especially those closest to me, to play me into
> being too dominating
> >or loud for my own comfort zone. Then I feel like
> "What just happened
> >here?"
> >
> >At least that is how it usually went down.
> >
> >If you have any suggestions, over and above my
> already strengthening
> >reserves, and attempts to counter with
> accertiveness instead of
> >aggression, which ain't easy, believe me! :) Then
> please do share them
> >with me, ASAP!
> >
> >I am posting this to just you because I do not want
> anyone of my other
> >fellow K listers to think I am trying to get my
> nose into this. I am
> >just nosey enought to have read it and seen some
> things about my own
> >life relationships to feel I ought to take heede,
> and hopefully learn
> >from what I have just read and discovered about
> myself and others in
> >my life.
> >
> >Hope you had a very productive and enjoyable day!
> >
> >~*~Blessings~*~
> >Lisa (uswrite)
> >
> >
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., Mystress Angelique
> Serpent
> ><mystressATnospamf...> wrote:
> > > At 12:50 AM 29/10/02, HSV & AAL wrote:
> > > > > My good mood is more important than a new
> member
> > > > > getting giddy and acting out.
> > > >
> > > >** Do you truly feel this way or are -you-
> acting out?
> > >
> > > That is a misinterpretation of what I said.
> The point is, staying
> > > grounded is more important than getting upset
> over trivialities... heh,
> > > like you do.
> > >
> > > It is a pretty basic spiritual ethic, which
> you are choosing to
> > > misinterpret for your own purposes... namely, so
> you can get upset over
> > > trivialities, indulge in drama, claim to be my
> victim and thus have the
> > > excuse of righteousness to be even more
> aggressive... without ever
> > > admitting to the abusiveness in what you do.
> > >
> > > The righteousness of victimhood is quite a
> weapon to wield... a
> >way for
> > > your shadow to express aggression without it
> interfering with your
> >ego idea
> > > of yourself as a gentle submissive being.
> Victimhood is a choice,
> >always.
> > > You make the choice to be a victim because you
> like how it gives you a
> > > guilt free excuse to be aggressive.
> > >
> > > >Is a veteran member any more or less important
> than a
> > > >new one?
> > >
> > > That is not the point, either. New members
> who are unaccustomed to
> > > being in a Shakti-charged environment often get
> a little giddy. Older
> > > members are familiar with this phenomena, and
> have learned not to
> >take it
> > > seriously. Usually it is good to point it out to
> them before they get
> > > headed for psychosis. Joyce thanked me for
> that... but you use it as
> >more
> > > fodder for your victim game.
> > >
> > > > Strange how I got the impression that the
> > > >whole idea was to become one with everything
> and see
> > > >everything for what it is... an important part
> of the
> > > >whole.
> > >
> > > Yep. Experienced that yet?
> > >
> > > Heh... actually, when you become one with
> everything, you
> >realize that
> > > all you see, is yourself reflected. You are
> projecting a lot of
> >stuff onto
> > > me, but it is not me. It is your stuff that you
> do not want to own.
> >That is
> > > the shadow of separation from All that is.
> > >
> > > Jung defined the Shadow as "what we think
> we are not". This
> >post is
> > > all about what you think you are not...
> surprise! You are all that,
> >but it
> > > is repressed. Projected onto me. What is
> repressed, comes up ugly.
> > >
> > > A lower vibe person projecting their shadow
> onto a higher vibe
> >person
> > > is totally normal. Does not bother me, I am used
> to it. Hugs! Whether I
> > > choose to engage it and play the game, depends
> on what is in it for me.
> > > Enlightened selfishness.
> > >
> > > Holly, I see Goddess in you. So very, totally
> loveable. You do
> >not. I
> > > also see the games you play, to keep yourself
> stuck.
=== message truncated ===___
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