To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/10/27 04:16
Subject: [K-list] Re: I am sorry
From: HSV & AAL
On 2002/10/27 04:16, HSV & AAL posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Goddess, have mercy!
Wow! I think I must live in a different time/space
continuum or something. Maybe Lady Joyce and I just
share a strange sense of humor or something.
Well, firstly, let me say that I was quite shocked at
her unexpected statement to begin with. It came on
the heels of her posts of beauty and love and peace...
and then WHAM!!, right in the kisser. Don't get me
wrong, though. Words don't offend me.. well, not
unless they're hurled at me as a sign of disrespect.
Then someone made mention of her statement and after-
wards, she started writing the posts about being
punished. I took them all as jokes, as her own strange
way of posing before us in a humble manner to apologize,
but adding a humorous touch to it to keep it light.
Seems like something I would do. However, I did wonder
how Mystress would take it since Joyce used her persona
in such a way without her permission. (I was under the
assumption that Mystress had not spoken to her
personally.. my mind didn't even consider that Mystress
may have derided her off-list.)
Then came Her response to it. I felt like I was hit
with a brick from the anger that accompanied it. I did
not expect that! But I should have. I have at least
spent some time in the world of D/s, and I learned a
lot about myself during that time. One of those things
was to never make presumptions on behalf of a Dom/me
else lightning shall rain upon you.
What's my point? Well, I often have no point, but I
suppose I just wanted to input that not -everyone- on
the list thought that Joyce was making a public ridi-
cule of an off-list admonishment by Mystress. But I
see how some folks may have thought that. Let's see...
let me try to be honest with myself. Hrm..
[inner dialogue]
I think that I'm trying to defend Joyce by begging
Mystress not to be angry. Seems such a childish thing
to do. I'm sure Joyce doesn't need defending, and
Mystress doesn't need me in her face over something
that doesn't concern me. Okay, so why not just delete
all this and not send it? Because then wouldn't that
be lying in a way... hiding the truth of this moment?
I always strive to be honest with myself and others.
But I worry and fear for what they will think of me and
say to me... but then I always worry about that. They
may say it was ego and not truth... is it? I don't
know, but they may know and I can't learn unless I make
myself completely vulnerable to them and become willing
to learn. Have faith and hit send....
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