To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/10/25 19:17
Subject: [K-list] And So It Is
From: hbrost
On 2002/10/25 19:17, hbrost posted thus to the K-list:
Hello You-sies,
That's what I say to my Dalmatians, so don't be offended! "Yousies" are good. Well, here's my story. No one will believe this but you all, and since most of it is in the near-past, I'm starting to believe it possibly may not even have happened. So go our dramas and scenarios...
My Skye-Baby left this earthly world on October the 7th. She died of acute renal failure, or rather she "left" because I would not allow her gorgeous earthly body to experience more seizures and needles and urine-tasting food...just like humans are subjected to with ARF. (Isn't that almost black humor -- ARF!) I thought if I could pay enough money, if I could feed her enough spirulina, if I could WILL God into extra life, of course, she'd live. But in the end, I think I did the right thing. She died with dignity and grace, and even chased chipmunks -- twice -- before we left for the vet. (This may be long, please bear with me. I'll go through a box of Kleenex before I get this out.)
BTW, I posted a picture of "Hety and The Girlies" in the photos file. Skye is the Dalmatian on your right.)
Skye showed symptoms of her illness on September 11th by drinking a lot of water. She never drank. Her breath smelled like metal and so I took her to the vet which was to begin almost a month of hell. She was put on IV fluids, which I started to do at home, including subQ fluids. This was to flush her kidneys as the toxin levels in her blood were becoming very high. She had an acute bacterial infection as well. So I administered the IV and slept with her around the clock and tried to feed her anything she would eat...and my K energy started to explode in unreasonable proportions. I called Jason (THANK YOU!!) to ask what to do. No one who I knew understood what was going on. As I was sitting and sleeping with Skye, I tried reading "Christ the Yogi" and I suppose that was only making matters worse...or better? I don't know.
While I tried to sleep with Skye, fire exploded into my left leg from my left heel in unbelieveable intensity and heat. The explosions of color and light in my head were unstoppable...well, until I asked the energy to stop. Jason told me to simply ask it to stop. It did. At this time, about two weeks into Skye's illness, I was having terrible problems with my right leg -- it felt like a nerve was being pulled so tightly, I couldn't make a movement without feeling the pain. And then my left leg -- lighting up like a torch at night! I was trying to care for Skye night and day...and then her seizures started.
During this time, I stopped all yoga (didn't have time), basically stopped eating, no exercise and never even ONCE imagined she was going to die. Never once. How stupid was I? Well, to make a long story short, her creatinine level continued to rise, she refused all food and then experienced a most horrible seizure and I decided that no one should have to experience that kind of quality of life. Well, here the story really begins. (I told you it was long!)
After a final blood test to ascertain her creatinine level was continuing to rise, we put in a catheter for the final anesthesia. I told her, "Honey, remember to get IN the vehicle and come home WITH me! Remember, come home WITH me." So, we put her body into my vehicle, I kissed her and took her home. I opened the back of the vehicle in my driveway and kissed and petted her again. A friend followed me home from the vet and walked up the drive to help me carry her to her body's final resting place, and I said, "no, let me kiss her one more time." At that moment "she" left. She waited until she came home. Her body died at the vet, but her spirit stayed in her body, I know it, until that moment. It was like kissing dead meat -- I almost threw up. But I EXPERIENCED it. Somehow, I was allowed to know that she came home. No...story's not over...
Well, millions of tears later, I was here, at the computer when I had one of my "visions." My visions are always 'eyes open' types, not sleeping, not trancelike. I actually saw a snapshot vision of this white-ish form lifting off Skye's body while she was in the vehicle in my driveway. It was most like an elephant with ears, but I saw it. It was extremely comforting. Then, a few days later, I was on the phone with a friend, not paying attention to the conversation, and I experienced -- experienced -- Skye EVERYWHERE. She was everywhere, in everything, she WAS everything. She wasn't a Dalmatian, not male, not female, just spirit. The air either became thinner or thicker, I don't know. This is how my experiences happen -- something changes, but I can't explain it. And that was all. That was the last contact I've had with Skye, except in my imagination where she's always wagging her tail furiously. She never wagged her tail furiously -- she had to put up with me for ten plus years!
So after all this, I realize that my tears, my sadness, my frustration was only my damn ego not being able to control life and death!!!! Isn't that a novel thought? I can't control life and death! The K energy stopped, I believe, when it knew I was going to have to go through the learning experience on my own. To realize that Skye was an angel -- and I don't control the lessons, I can only experience them in this earthly way.
Kundalini has started up again -- in a very gentle way. Like I said, a box of Kleenex....She was my child, my Skye-Baby. Intellectually, I know where this all sits. My human heart just won't stop hurting.
Love,
Hety
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