To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/10/24 10:20
Subject: Re: [K-list] The Chaos of Kundalini
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/10/24 10:20, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
Welcome, Lady Joyce:
At 06:01 PM 23/10/02, Lady Joyce wrote:
>Dear Sisters and Brothers of the Fire:
>
>I just joined this group last night. I went looking for a group like this. I
>knew what to look for, but only after a long and arduous internet
>cybersearch to try to figure out what happened to me. Kundalini has happened
>to me !!!
yaaaaay!!
>Please don't flame me for this because I say it with love, not as a
>criticism...the light that shines upon you and within you is not artificial
>light To me, it is the light of the fire, the fire of the love of Kundalini,
>of the Holy Spirit.
I think you misunderstood the thread. The topic was whether artificial
light might be a trigger to mass awakening. I don't think anyone questioned
whether the light within us, is Divine!
>I feel that Kundalini awakens us for a reason, for us to understand and seek
>to accomplish our mission as part of the collective soul. This is not always
>easy. For some of us, our missions are filled with pain.
I often question the idea of life being about mission, or purpose. I
feel that life does not need a reason, it just Is. The purpose we give to
it, is for our own personal interpretation or fulfillment.
Even so.. my #1 came home yesterday contemplating what he found to be
an alarming statistic. The average life expectancy after retirement is 13
months, unless the retiree has plans, something new to do to give life
purpose. It did not surprise me, I already knew about the stats... and do
not expect I will ever really retire. Such is the nature of my work.
> Yet, it was
>not something I was looking for at all. In fact, the whole process came as a
>shock to me in the beginning as I did not understand it.
So it is, often, and so it is that this list community exists... :)
So, you are helping it to fulfill its purpose!
>So, the proposition/realization that Anand could be/is part of my
>unconscious spirit kind of threw me for a loop. Somehow, the thought that
>he is part of me in the sense that he is my unconscious makes me feel as
>if he is not real. Not real in that he is not separate from me.
Joyce, on a higher level, you are not separate from anything. You are
All that Is. You do not yet experience yourself as that, but eventually as
the process progresses, you will! That is self-realization.
>I want him to be separate from me, so that we can join together.
Yessssssssss!! :) You experience separation, he does not... he knows
that he and you are part of the All. He experiences that, and through him,
you will experience it also. Your surrender to his wisdom will eventually
result in a true joining, where there is not he and you, but only Being.
>I also feel as if he is my master guide, teaching me the ways, one by one,
>slowly and with due regard and unending patience for my ability to move
>forward. He is so wise. How can he be part of me?
Thou art God. God-dess. Everything is a part of you, you are connected
to, and a part of everything. You experience everything, through him. The
data of your senses gets interpreted by the unconscious before the output
is perceived by your conscious mind.
Your humility is beautiful.
>He has to be separate from me so I can see him as wiser. So I can
>receive. I seem to have a vested interest in that, so that I can think of
>him as real.
Yes, and that is OK! The illusion of separation allows for surrender.
Surrender is the imperative of Kundalini.
He is as real as anything, and more real than some things. You have
read the wisdom of the ancients saying that everything is illusion, Maya...
who you think Joyce is, is illusion also. An illusion of limitation,
separation. He is more real than you! :) In a manner of speaking.
>Somehow I feel I have betrayed him by even looking at this answer. I go
>to Kundalini. I pray. She assures me that while they are both part of me, they
>are also part of the collective whole and it is their energy which I feel
>and receive. I need to process this.
You are also part of that. You just do not experience it, yet...
>I am confused now. Forgive me for the length of this post , but this is
>the first time I have openly shared so much of my feelings and my
>experiences of Kundalini to other human beings!
There is nothing to forgive. Your sharing is lovely, and welcomed.
> I also seem to have jumped my self right into the chaos of confusion!!!
Confusion is good. Why are Zen koans confusing? Because there needs to
be a confusion of old ideas, to make way for the new truths. When you think
you know something, you stop thinking about it. You close yourself to new
information.
It is like how people say, "Why do I always find things in the last
place I look?" Because when you find, you stop looking! Who knows what you
would find, if you keep looking?
Eventually, you will make peace with the confusion... that which Is, is
incomprehensible to the thinking mind.
If you want to enhance your confusion, ask Kundalini and Anand (did you
know Anand is Sanskrit for peace?) Who am I? What am I? This type of
internal questioning is possibly the oldest type of meditation.
Blessings..
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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