To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/10/12 05:45
Subject: Re: [K-list] Lymph nodes traveling all around?!
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/10/12 05:45, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
Hey silly bastard.. :)
At 09:25 PM 10/10/02, typical bastard wrote:
>Well, I don't know what to think of this-are there any medical docotrs on
>the list, or anyone who would know if this is bad for my body? I know
>Kundalini, and K. energies are supposted to take care of them selves, I know
>this-but I see these negative images at night before bed...It sounds like
>sillyness..
yes. The silliness is you, not being mindful of your energy. The K does
take care of itself, but prana is under your ego control.
It follows your thoughts, your attention. You have not much in the way
of boundaries anymore, so you become what you focus on. Merge into it. Your
spirit travels to what you give your attention to. Empathy is triggered by
attention. Energy follows attention. When you look at something, you give
it energy and this triggers an interaction, energy and information
travelling. Especially if you have negative judgments about the thing or
person you are looking at. Then you are assaulting them and you will get
smacked.
You have had to turn your attention outward, to do school and
everywhere you look, you become that. Empathy, unity... the opened heart.
It is harsh because your presence with people, your K-fired laser eyes
triggers people's karma, and it flows to you as the one responsible for the
poke. It is emotional, karma baggage and thoughts, issues, fears... coming
to you, for you to release.
It is the guru game, but staying stable requires plenty of attention to
surrender. When you go to rest at night, K kicks in, giving you visions and
feelings, and detachment to encourage you to surrender the karma bits
energy impressions you have collected over the day... and you get scared
and resist, instead of just allowing it. So, you are made more detached...
Goddess pushing harder to get you to really let go.
>Yes-I'm coming down, but my Lymph glads moved! A ball rolled down to rest
>beside my kindy, and then it rolled up, where its at!? I don't know!?
Gone out your head. Released.
>Gahhhh. Is this dangerious? Can this be harmfull? My neck is swollen-not
>majorly, still though! Still! The other night I released the glads in my
>neck where my neck and chin come together-does anyone know what this means?
>All I did was blow spit bubbles..so it can't be that bad...Its just...
I think it was something you cleared from someone else, actually...
somebody around you was having a problem and you took it on and cleared it
from yourself. Then you got a karmic payback reward of having your own
glands clearing.
There is a nice karmic payback for this kind of work, taking on karma
from people and processing it in yourself... but it is a tricky game, and
I'd suggest you are a little too busy and too unstable to be doing the
boddhisattva gig. You have not sorted out the power chakra enough to have a
sense of when you are projecting energy at people, and getting stuff back.
You need to focus inwards, keep one eye on your heart at all times, and
let it fill in the blanks, at school. Focusing inward will keep your energy
from poking people so much. You won't have so much stuff to process at the
end of the day. Stay grounded... keeping your own energy levels up will
leave no room for other people's stuff.
>I know that most of my fears come from the unknown-I don't know whats going
>to happen-I don't know why I am having such a hard time staying in my body-
Coz you don't focus on your body. Focus on watching yourself breathing
will always bring you back. Also, this affirmation: "I resolve to use only
my own energy, especially in a social situation." Keeps you from getting
entangled in other people. Say it to yourself several times a day to affirm
your boundaries, and your intention not to project energy at people.
>I
>don't know why sometimes I feel like someone has stepped into me-or
>someone has moved into me.
You have moved into them...
> WHen this happens it feels like our feelings had
>switched-like it feels like I now know what it would feel like to have hair
>like that, like I'd understand how it'd rest on my head...but its not my
>hair! Its freaky-I do not know what to think anymore.
You are body jumping. It is empathy, your heart is opened. Focus on
someone, you become them. Better to turn your attention inward, as much as
you can. Just gaze at the glow of your heart.
>I am starting to think these negative "visions" I've been having might be me
>trying to take energy from me.
Yes. Trying to take the karma junk out. Surrender it.
>I don't seriously believe in implants, but
>maybe they are real-maybe I'm being controled, maybe its this, maybe its
>that. Maybe i'm going crazy, maybe i'm going crazy. I need some help.
ok. :)
>I remember that at this park one day, at one of the labrenths you see all
>over San Fran. There was this man standing, looking up towards the sky. I
>walked through a part of the labrenth, and then lazyily moved out of it, to
>watch my friends-then, before they had finsihed, this man had entered-and
>walked to the center. Wile I was standing there I saw this white soft
>looking cloud of energy shoot from me to him-now I don't know if what I saw
>was real or not-I dont know if I really saw it, or if I have gotten myself
>wrapped up in a terrible reality tunnel.
Where your attention goes your energy goes. You were standing there
looking at him. He did not suck it out of you, you gave it to him, as a
gift. It is not mysterious. You are doing it.
Walking a labyrinth gives insights. Your unconscious showed you the
energy travelling, to give you an insight, about how your energy travels to
people you focus on. Probably your gift assisted him to receive the
insights he sought.
You see, this is not mysterious, you are not helpless. It is something
you are creating, and your unconscious has been abundantly trying to show
you how it works.
The heart knows no boundaries, and it can create the experience of
empathy= when two become one, sharing feelings and thoughts. Heart has the
whole universe in it, so it is not aware of boundaries that exist one
chakra lower.
But, the power chakra world is aware of free will and karma, and there
is an exchange of energy=information. at universe is affected.. Prana
follows attention, and thoughts. Your thoughts stray into other people
quite often, and your energy follows. then there is feedback,
action/reaction and you have to deal with what you have taken on from them.
Your choice, your free will is to choose what to focus on.
I want you to get a better sense of how it works, by going into nature,
and focusing on a tree, a bird, whatever until you can feel what it is like
to be that. More fun to focus on eagles than stressed out people...
When you get good at it, you can even do it with animals on TV...
become them. Just look at them with love, do not be invasive. You have to
respect their boundaries, but you will feel a shift, when they let you in.
They may even disappear to your physical vision... not permanently, but
just as you gaze...
>I really don't know. I don't know
>what life is, or what it does to us. I don't know why I see what I see, or
>eel what I feel.
>It seems like everytime I say, oh, people probably can't steal energy like
>that from others...it happens. I experiance that.
You interpret it as that... but really it is you giving energy away.
You are getting your chakra universes confused. At the heart level,
everything is always consensual, because all is One, all is love. At that
level, there can be no theft, because there is no-one to steal or steal from.
Move one chakra down, on the level of the power chakra, there is
duality. Karma, boundaries. That is the level where the games of free will,
divine will, karma and dharma are played out, and it is the level of your
chi being directed. Not your love, necessarily, but your life energy. Your
power, your will.
Learning to get a handle on when you are poking up karma out of people
is learning to listen to your power chakra. It crunches when you are poking
people without their consent. Crossing boundaries. Karma/dharma alarm.
> In moments like that, I am
>compleat. I am fullfilled. In that moment there are shadows and light,
>reflections. There you can watch the sun set against the face of the
>buildind over, watch the deepening shadows suddenly dissapear at noon. You
>can smell the ocean breeze, and up there this is no pollution. Hardly any at
>least. The softness of those moments, of the time I get to spend up there it
>the oppisite of this depression. It it the oppisite of everything I feel
>right now.
Just Being. No drama. Yes. You need some of that, everyday. Take that
beingness with you, when you get off the bunk.
>And maybe I'm supposted to be like that, maybe I'm supposted to
>cry trying, die flying. Maybe I'm supposted to scream sometimes.
Life can be messy... :)
>But all of this pain is just clutter. ALl of this pain is just pain and
>nothing else.
Yes. Clutter you pick up because you are not discerning about what you
give your attention to. Like a one man snowball fight, bombing people with
your laser eyes... then when the karma kicks you wonder where it all is
coming from. Then you react with fear, and it gums up the works even
further, till you are driven to some dramatic purge to be free of it all.
Goddess has been trying to show you, basic power dynamics. What you
put out comes back multiplied. Every action, an equal and opposite
reaction. You are not helpless in this, you are doing it to yourself
because you do not believe you have power.
Your ego is pretty transparent, but your paranoid focus shows that
there is still plenty of separation. You are living in duality, you are not
totally surrendered into unity, you have to follow the rules of the
game. Physics of human energy exchange. Karma and dharma.
> When I don't feel this pain I feel like I am about to slip
>away, slip away into a warm embrase, and just simply dissapear. In that
>moment of compleatness I feel like that if I let go, I would die.
Not physically... but you would slip into a more effortless
universe/reality. One where you could see the game you are stuck in, from a
higher perspective in order to be conscious about playing, and not get
stuck again. Mindfulness!!!
>I have let go of so many things-things like want-most wants at least. I
>have no push, no drive for sex-no push, or drive against it either. It is
>inbetween. LIke
>most things-things are not black, nor white, they are grey.
Well, you are stuck in the waiting room... Eventually you will come
out the other side, knowing what your bliss is, and set to follow it...
with a passion that is effortless and rewarding. Blessings!
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