To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/09/27 15:54
Subject: [K-list] "Strange Awakening" Part III
From: Patricia Stevens
On 2002/09/27 15:54, Patricia Stevens posted thus to the K-list:
Sorry to have been so long getting to the list! I have been taken away again
as I call it, and work has been very demanding!Here as I pick up where I left off in "part II" becomes a little vague, out
of sorts, and some is just too obscure to remember. This particular part has
been difficult to write & more difficult to make any sense of.... because
from that day on and for the next 7 weeks, many things were going on inside
me and out. All I really wanted to do was to be by myself and be inside
myself, and besides, I soon became aware that I had no choice about it!I had never experienced empathy such as this. Was it empathy? My mind was
racing and soon so many thoughts coming at such incredible speed. I had no
reference for this. Nothing to draw from and I so badly wanted to make sense
of it. I seemed to be in two worlds or two realities at the same time, one
foot in this one and the other somewhere else! There were thousands of
thoughts flooding my mind, and at the same time, my body was demanding
something else. I would find myself in a health food store, buying exactly
what i needed, but not having made any conscious decision to do this.
Something else, an intelligence seemed to be at the controls. No use
fighting it, my mind was sooo occupied with thoughts and then the EMOTIONS
of such intensity I thought I was losing my mind. Maybe I did!Sometimes I would feel as if I were floating, not just in dreams.
Gravity was no longer any issue as I could bend, stoop, sit with my legs
crossed, (even on hard surfaces) Jump after several painful weeks of Min.
2hrs. nightly of non-stop physical exercise. Dropping weight quickly over
the next few weeks, and crying...no...weeping, incesantly, not even
understanding why, but i would feel better later.Now I was hearing his voice inside my head. Speaking to me, asking me what I
thought? How did I feel? Did I know what had happened? Very softly and
gently. It was a voice that had a lot of compassion and understanding to it.
I quickly became accustomed to hearing this voice of my manager being there,
inside and talking to me, because I wasn't alone, and when i would get
upset, it was there to calm me down. Also I had purchased headphones
(am/fm/stereo) and I was receiving messages thru the music. Had been, even
before, just not in the magnatude that now it came.
THanks again for being here! Pat
Here as I pick up where I left off in "part II" becomes a little vague, out
of sorts, and some is just too obscure to remember. This particular part has
been difficult to write & more difficult to make any sense of.... because
from that day on and for the next 7 weeks, many things were going on inside
me and out. All I really wanted to do was to be by myself and be inside
myself, and besides, I soon became aware that I had no choice about it!
I had never experienced empathy such as this. Was it empathy? My mind was
racing and soon so many thoughts coming at such incredible speed. I had no
reference for this. Nothing to draw from and I so badly wanted to make sense
of it.
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