To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/09/19 09:38
Subject: RE: [K-list] I killed my ego... now what ??
From: Kat

Hillary said:

Usually the most intense period is at the very beginning! As you noted,
it's harder when it's resisted! The good news is you got through it! :))
Sometimes, though it becomes cyclical until it finally smooths out.

I was wondering:

For a very long time now, something has been happening to me with fair
regularity.

I can feel, 98% of the time, energy that buzzes through my body. Anyone who
is aware of it can feel it by touching my skin or holding their hand over
me.

Every so often, that energy goes hay wire. I feel it in my nerves; my hands,
feet, legs, arms, head ,neck and body twitch. My skin is electrified. I feel
like my body is short circuiting.

I am compelled to get up and move around to alliviate some of that energy,
it feels like I will over load if I don't. Over load past my tolerance
because really I am already over loaded.

Another thing that comes with it: Pain. If there is any discomfort anywhere,
it because nearly intolerable pain.

And then there is the fever. I seem to walk around for days at a time,
usually surrounding these events, with a low grade fever. And on all of the
fever days, I feel ansy.

Doctors say there is nothing wrong, or that I am depressed and am
experiencing anxiety attacks. But it these events don't fit their definition
of these things. They really don't seem to be listening to me.

So Hillary, are you saying that this will eventually pass? even though it
has been going on for a really long time? Are you saying that all this time
has been the beginning?

Please and thanks
I appreciate you
kat
-------y.lEAA/MVfIAA/AtTslB/TM

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