To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/09/04 14:57
Subject: [K-list] sad
From: Shellelr

I am not feeling so good the past few days.

I know we're not supposed to mention the terrible thing that happened last
September here, but can I talk about my life in relation to it for just a
brief moment?

I live in an area of New Jersey that lost a lot of people, among them Todd
Beamer. I lay in bed those September nights under the otherwise silent flight
path to Newark listening to air force jets and helicopters. Sleeping
fitfully and waking abruptly with horrible images in my head. My husband was
working in California for a few months and I was a "single" parent, sometimes
feeling very alone and trying to keep my six year old daughter oblivious and
away from the mailbox (my mail was routed through Trenton, where the Brokaw
and Daschle letters were posted).

I tuned the media out as well as I could after September and by about the
six-month mark began to feel somewhat less raw.

There are constant reminders all around me. Flags, "Let's Roll" bumper
stickers, books. I guess you're all seeing the books, too, maybe.

Last night I made the mistake of watching a documentary on PBS about people's
religious faith post-9/11. It was graphic and heartbreaking, and terribly
moving, and I don't think I should have watched it. I'm not as numb as I
thought. I woke at 3 a.m. thinking about the devastated family members in
the film. I felt sad and damaged, and just lay there and wept.

I know, don't watch these kinds of things. Tune it out. I do, I have been,
and I thought I was doing well; still thinking of it several times every day,
but not feeling it so deeply. But I wonder, will I continue to think of this
thing every day for the rest of my life? How can I clean this slate?

I know I've gone off-topic, sorry. If anyone with ideas for healing wants to
write me off-list, I'm all ears.

love to all,
Shelle

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm

DISCLAIMER!

---

Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe

K.  List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and  Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.

Feel free to submit any questions you might have about what you read here to the Kundalini mailing list moderators, and/or the author (if given). Specify if you would like your message forwarded to the list. Please subscribe to the K-list so you can read the responses.

All email addresses on this site have been spam proofed by the addition of ATnospam in place of the symbol.

All posts publicly archived with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited by international copyright law. ©

This precious archive of experiential wisdom is made available thanks to sponsorship from Fire-Serpent.org.

URL: http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/klist/k2002b/k200205402.html