To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/09/03 21:16
Subject: [K-list] Honesty & the X-Factor
From: HSV & AAL
On 2002/09/03 21:16, HSV & AAL posted thus to the K-list:
Directness and conviction
need to be balanced with something else
to be meaningful.
Do you know what that is?** I'll venture to guess. Compassion? That's the first word
that popped into my mind, because this issue is a big one for
me. I have a hard time keeping myself from fervently defending
my ideas/meaning/words/beliefs, etc. For instance, I just
read JM's post today telling someone to get off their PC horse,
then proceeds to immediately jump onto his "My way is the only
right way, so pay attention and get it right!" horse. It's a
bit of an annoyance, but I will refrain from writing a huge
post about it. I've also exercised a great amount of restraint
with regards to other things that touched my "sensitive"
button. It's a daily struggle, but I know that it is my own
problem and no one else's. So if I do go off on a tangent
about someone else's opinion, please feel free to tell me to,
"Check yourself before you wreck yourself." *grin*
** Back to the honesty issue, I had an internet friend about
6 years ago who was VERY, VERY brutal with his honesty. He
wielded it like a sword. I find that somewhat ironic or
coincidental since he got his degree in metal smithing. But
there was one rule that everyone learned to use with him...
if you don't REALLY wanna know, don't ask him. He didn't
buffer his words with compassion and understanding for the
feelings of others. Not that he didn't care, it's just who
he was.
** That was during a time in my life when I wasn't sick, and
had just recently come to the end of my first journey of soul-
searching. I knew who I was, the good and the bad, and I was
just fine with it. I liked who I was. There was nothing I
needed to feel defensive about. And because of this wellness,
I absolutely ADORED this young man and his brutal honesty.
It was the greatest breath of fresh air I had experienced in
a very very long time. But I realize that now I would not
enjoy it so much. I'm in a very insecure place right now.
(I'm also very long-winded like my Dad, unfortunately.
*turns toward her mother and sees her nodding her head off!*)
** Anyway, I was always at the other end of the spectrum...
afraid of upsetting or hurting someone, or afraid I'd lose
their friendship, if I spoke out honestly. It's taken me a
long time to figure out how to balance that excessive
compassion with the NEED to speak up. It's not an easy thing
to balance and most folks, in certain gradient degrees, are
generally on one side of that proverbial fence or the other.
Cambeie
pt6YBB/NXiEAA/MVfIAA/AtTslB/TM
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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