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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/09/03 02:37
Subject: [K-list] Darkness
From: Stormymouse :P

On 2002/09/03 02:37, Stormymouse :P posted thus to the K-list:

Hi! Its been a while since I have posted much. Yah I know you all are devistated LOL. Anyway just in the mood to ramble a bit I guess tonight. I am in a bit of a dark period of my life. Im not sure what all that means, it isnt anger or fear really causing it. It is just that my world is changing so much again ever since my K originally awoke I have been such a love and light person even in my worst times. Now I am more like a darkness (nice not evil :) and reality person I have come back down to Earth a bit and am looking around me.

Im not saying this is a bad thing but it is just confusing. I went from believing in a Spiritualist standpoint to some sort of I have no idea extra terrestrial/God/Goddess whatever view. My experiences that have been thrown at me in the past months have really changed how I think. I dont know who I am again or what I believe. Yes, I know that none of us really ever know but I am not doubting the things I used to rely on to live in my fake little Kristy world. I used to believe that there was no such thing as evil or bad things on the other side that it was all a state of mind brought on by us. I dont know what I believe anymore. I still dont believe in the devil or hell but I guess I am believing more now that there really are negative entities or something negative out there. UGH!!!!!

I am just lost that is all, I know I will find my way someday to whatever the next phase is. After I get there all will be happy for a while longer untill the next shift in my beliefs. I just dont really get all the symbols and connections to things that I never even cared about before. It is making me open up my awareness to so many new things. There are a few fears about what I am feeling and seeing but overall it is just like a blanket of darkness over my head and I cant see where I am going. Do I sound depressed lol amazingly I dont feel it I just feel like I am just waking up again like I did when it first awoke and I formed new beliefs. It is a constant loop of waking up to new realities till we die I guess.

Other than my reality change life is still good for me :)

I kind of like it in the dark sometimes.

Love and Positive happy Darkness,

Kristy
pt6YBB/NXiEAA/MVfIAA/AtTslB/TM

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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