To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/09/02 00:05
Subject: [K-list] K awakening as it applies to Non-Conformity
From: HSV & AAL
On 2002/09/02 00:05, HSV & AAL posted thus to the K-list:
Kindest RK Shankar,
Beloved Goddess! You must have spent much time and
thought into your reply to me. I can't possibly
express how thankful I am to you for taking your
time to attempt to teach me. Unfortunately, I don't
think I am intelligent, wise, intuitive, or enlightened
enough to understand the lesson.
The best I could understand was that K seems to be
awakened in those who break away from conformity.
If this were the only requirement, I mean to say that
if it were as simple as I stated it, I must have been
awakened all my life. I've always found society's
rules on thinking, believing, speaking, working,
acting, and dressing quite proposterous and tight-
assed. I mean, I believe in some very basic themes
like not intentionally hurting others and using
common sense in daily life, etc.
But conformity has always been an evil thing to me.
I remember a traumatic event from when I was a child.
I don't recall the teacher or the school or any of
the other children... but I remember the assignment.
It was actually an assignment meant to teach us how
individuality and differences were a good thing. But
it began by having all of us close our eyes and try
to imagine a world where everyone was exactly the
same... same color, same car, same house, same job,
same religion, same hair style, same voice, same
sexuality, same thoughts/ideas/dreams, etc etc...
It was awful. I don't know how old I was, but I
was somehow old enough to know I didn't like the
picture of conformity.
Throughout my 10 years in "grade school" (I dropped
out at the end of 10th grade.. but got my GED later
and went on to get a college degree), I only had
about 5 friends. Everyone else was either an enemy
or didn't know me. The few times I could get anyone
to tell me what was wrong with me, they just always
said that I was different. I would have given
anything to have friends.. or so I thought. But I
held onto certain core things about myself no matter
what.
That's something very special about me that I didn't
learn to appreciate until much later in life. I
don't even think Mom knows how much I risked and
gave up in order to cling onto those values I held
dear. Most of what people noticed was that I would
give up all of my food, my toys, my clothing, my
money, and even my pride and dignity in order to
try to gain acceptance and friends. I gave those up
because they weren't that important to me. But
things like giving the school "outcast" a chance at
friendship no matter what everyone else thought of
him/her... that was important, and still is, to me.
I've also always been memorable to people for some
strange reason.
Oddly, it took me until my days in college, when I
was 25 years old, to realize that I am just as good
and important and worthy of respect as everyone else
in the world. Everyone has their strengths and their
weaknesses, goodness and wickedness, beauty and
ugliness. I'm not any better, but also not any less,
than anyone else. From that point of realization, I
have always demanded only honesty and respect from
everyone I meet. It's not much, but it's enough to
give me self worth even though I still walk my own
eccentric path.
But it hasn't seemed to have been enough to awaken my
K, but perhaps my K has been waking slowly for all
these 31 years. I don't know. Maybe I haven't been
brave enough or steadfast enough with my non-conformity.
As Martin Luther King, Jr said once (and I'm not quoting
word for word), 'Anyone can stand up for their beliefs
when it's safe, but it takes great courage and honor to
do it in the face of adversity." I've always wished I
could live up to that as he did.
Lastly, let me say that I truly am grateful for your
insight of stones and their connection to other worlds.
I had never heard of this before, and I find it quite
fascinating. Please, if you know of any online sites
that give more detailed, but fairly simple-to-process,
information... feel free to share them with me. I'd
love to read more.
Thank you again (and sorry for rambling on so much),
Cambeie
pt6YBB/NXiEAA/MVfIAA/AtTslB/TM
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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