To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/08/30 14:47
Subject: [K-list] (unknown)
From: mundaneyogi
On 2002/08/30 14:47, mundaneyogi posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Connie,
Seems we have a lot in common.
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "kunipshn" <kunipshnATnospamy...> wrote:
> I am in a quandary over what is really happening with me. I have
> been around now for nearly half a century so I have quite a number
> of experiences to draw on and mull over and now I am finding
> repetitions in the comparisons.
Yeah, me too. 50 seems like an awesome number of years, doesn't it?
> I have ... have sought out doctors for physical symptoms and
> mental dysfuntions and clergy for spiritual guidance...
I've been down that road too. I've concluded that doctors are good
mechanics, but lousy systems analysts. Most clergy have been
somewhat less helpful than the average guy you meet on the street.
I've received some profound insight from homeless people. If you
listen right, everyone is your guru.
> ...
> Instead of running off and getting medications or having my
> head shrunk or doing pennance I have instead taken a different
> approach and looked at the un-attachment as a time-out, a
> cleansing, and let it happen. BIG differnce in how this affects me
> mentally.
>
> Question is now, is this change because I am crazy, for real?
The question is, have the doctors found a root cause? Do they give
you medication to correct a chemical imbalance, or just to dull your
senses?
> I do not know how to best describe this, it is almost as if I were
> floating *inside* my body and mind, not numb, but not altogether
> feeling either. It scares me near to death that I am dying, or
> loosing my mind.
To paraphrase another respondent, it's like little "i" and big I,
the ego and the super-conscious Self. When I was younger, I didn't
know about Kundalili and its affects. I would get this feeling,
best described by a friend as "like the refraction of a pencil in a
glass of water", or I'd be sitting in gym class listening to
people's conversations and suddenly feel detached, no longer able to
understand the words, just hearing a sound like when you put your
hands over your mouth and say "rutabaga" over and over. During
these experiences I felt like I was losing my mind and was going to
die.
> I still got the crap, but the crap wasn't sending me over the edge
> as it used to. Until this morning.
A lot of sensitive people have been feeling "something in the air"
lately. I did, and it caused me to start doing Kriya Yoga again
after 20 years, which turns out to be a blessing. By the way, Kriya
Yoga as taught by Paramahansa Yogananda and a book by Ram Dass
called "Be Here Now" were what cured me of those anxiety attacks.
> I have had an overall feeling that everything is going to be okay.
> And I can wait it out. It is a nice high. I do have to remind
> myself of that repeatedly, and that is the hardest part,
> remembering to remind myself that relaxing into it will feel
> better than fighting it.
Even a warrior knows that surrendering to a vastly superior force is
the wise thing to do.
> This morning I woke up feeling this way more so than I did
> yesterday, nothing has happened that I can pinpoint to escalate
> this state, and I am getting bombarded with fear that I should
> make an appointment for meds to make it stop.
Like I said, if the meds correct some clear chemical imbalance, by
all means take them. Do some research (the web is an easy place to
start) on Kriya Yoga or other spiritual techniques that people
recommend. Follow your heart. It will direct you to the
appropriate place.
> I am writting to ask if this is similar to anyone on the list. If
> this sounds like something that others feel when this kundalini is
> doing its work.
Yes, sounds a lot like what I went through many years ago. Everyone
has a Kundalini (far as I know), and since it is your spiritual
essence, there's certainly some connection. Others on the list are
probably better qualified to make specific diagnoses, especially if
you provide additional detail with regard to your symptoms.
> I already know from talking to others with mental
> disorders that it is similar to what they experience. But quite
> frankly I would like to break out of that pattern and make
> something of all this.
Why not try both? They're not mutually exclusive. Find a good yoga
program, one with heart, knowing that you can always fall back on
traditional medicine and psychiatry. Yoga works for me; maybe zazen
is your best path, or maybe some other form of meditation --
whatever works best for you.
> But also, I do not want to do myself damage by not
> getting help if what I am experincing is a clear cut case of a
> mental disorder that has nothing to do with spiritual change.
Again, I would ask if there is a clearly identifiable physiological
or bio-chemical root cause. If meditation makes it worse, stop.
However, it worked for me, and I feel we are kindred spirits.
Peace, Love, and Truth,
Ken
pt6YBB/NXiEAA/MVfIAA/AtTslB/TM
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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