To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/08/19 07:32
Subject: [K-list] Re: Tortured By Demons?
From: lionessbleu1
On 2002/08/19 07:32, lionessbleu1 posted thus to the K-list:
As we become awakened long suppressed parts of ourselves begin to trickle to the surface looking to be acknowledged and loved. Some may call these things demons. Others may call this our shadow side. Some may call this our unconscious.
In essence loving them is the best way to heal them. Focusing on quieting them or being afraid of them sends energy to them and they grow larger and more insistent. (Think of little kids or baby birds wanting to be fed.)
Sending these parts of yourself love will eventually calm and quiet them. I often had dead people coming to me in visions and monsters trying to kill me when I first awakened. Through the help of friends on this list years ago I learned to surrender to these entities which were dark reflections of myself and absorb them back into my body psyche.
I am no longer bothered by any voices. Occasionally something irrational will be heard and I just recognize that as part of myself that is looking for recognition and love.
Although the medication is helpful it does only cover over the voices to make the situation manageable until you address the core issues of your hidden self wanting to be heard and loved. BTW, I have nothing against drug therapy. I am an RN and I give them every day.
It is only your self that is looking for recognition and love. It takes practice but you can calm the insistent voices. A wise transpersonal therapist or friend or even people on this list can help you with this.
Welcome to the list, Michael.
Namaste,
Susan
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "Michael Lindsley" <contour5ATnospamq...> wrote:
> This is my first post, but it may be a familiar story to some of you.
> Extraordinary events of the past year set me upon a quest which has led
> me to this mailing list. I've had "energy phenomena" for many years,
> often fairly intense since I began meditating about ten years ago. Any
> sort of prayer or spiritual yearning is usually accompanied by a
> pleasant glowing, electric sensation in my chest. I long ago found I
> could move the energy around, call on it; I knew it was a friend. My
> catholic background made me wonder if it was the "holy spirit". I felt
> certain it was some sort of spiritual indicator, but didn't give it too
> much importance. I was primarily concerned with living life, keeping up
> my meditation, trying to become a better person. I asked in prayer to
> know the will of the creator, for greater understanding, for the
> capacity to carry out the creator's will. I was living a fairly quiet
> life. Then, a year ago, my world imploded. Traveling in Mexico, I
> flipped out. In a familiar place, and among friends, I began hearing
> threatening voices. I became paranoid, overwhelmed by fear. I thought
> people were conspiring against me. For many months I was on the run,
> half out of my mind, and terrified. In my worst moments of fear, I felt
> the most powerful currents of energy. I actually looked in the mirror to
> see if like flames were shooting out the top of my head. (They weren't).
> That's what it felt like. Months of sleepless nights and thousands of
> miles passed before I finally landed at my brother's house. Somehow he
> talked me into a visit to the shrink. Three months of Zyprexa, a
> mind-numbing anti-psychotic, helped me to see that the voices tormenting
> me were probably being created in my own mind.
> Can't tell ya what a surprise it was to learn that I'm crazy!
> Couldn't stand the drugs, so I went off them six months ago. I still
> hear voices occasionally, but I've learned that they feed on fear. So I
> try to ignore them. Not always easy to do. I'm still not really quite
> sure "where" they come from. Are they entities, or my subconscious mind,
> or am I actually hearing the thoughts of other people? It's still a
> great mystery to me at this point. I sort of feel that it's all been a
> kind of test- of my resolve not to respond to cruelty with hatred or
> resentment. I keep hoping that the test can be over soon. Other than
> that, I've rebuilt my life as best I can. Each day is a fabulous gift, a
> new world of opportunities. Trying to understand my circumstances has
> led me to discover all sorts of interesting ideas( and some really
> wacked-out ones!), brilliant teachers(and some astounding frauds), a
> whole new universe of things I hadn't been paying attention to. A
> cosmic wake-up call? Heh. I was pretty comfortable sleeping...
> So I've lurked my way through the archives, and now I've joined the
> list. I'm really grateful for all the information I've gleaned here.
> Bless you all, and thanks to anybody who bothered to read this. I'd
> appreciate any sort of responses you might care to make, especially any
> ideas on dealing with nasty "voices". Love and Light and Happiness to
> you all. Michael
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