To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/08/17 15:44
Subject: [K-list] forwded for whimsicalzephyr
From: lavinaleone
On 2002/08/17 15:44, lavinaleone posted thus to the K-list:
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "whimsicalzephyr" <sabrinagouldATnospamn...>
wrote:
> if anyone receives a message from
> me, feel free to post it to the group.
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "lavinaleone" <lavinaleoneATnospams...> wrote:
> Why is it that when we find someone to pattern ourselves after we
get
> all tounge tied and embarrassed about it when we implement them
into
> our lives? I have had two teachers in my life, both very out-there
> with their teachings. I thru myself into their teachings, I changed
> my diet, my clothes, my vocabulary my very thoughts to emulate
them.
> And once I did that, people would make comments to me like "that
> sounds like ---" and I would choke up like a cow on bad cud...
Ha!
I have been trying all my life to be 'different' and
original....thought it made me better and more open-minded than ppl
wearing blue jeans and t-shirts...so i reacted violently when ppl
said 'you look/remind me of so and so.' I was quite pissed off that
they'd insult my originality and that I wasn't recognized for who I
was. Now howver, I am just interested in being who I am, not
ptojecting who I think I am, and am genuinely surprised when I am
associated with other people and accepted by society as a whole. I
guess I still think of myself as some kind of 'freak.'
Now when I am told I resemble so and so, the first thing I look for
is whether I've taken on a projection from them or vice versa...or
whether I have onconcsciously been emulating another b/c of 3rd
chakra deficits. This type of projection is causing problems with my
relationship, in the beginning we took on each other's baggage and
projections. Now I am surrendering and realizing what belongs to me
and what belongs to the b/f....and consequently am turning into this
creature my SO does not recognize or feel comfortable with. We both
had this magnificent idea that we were as alike as two human beings
could get, which is ironic since we both had that striving to be
different thing going on. And now we are two separate people..heading
for a separation I think. I am surrendering all my projections to him
and vice versa to god/ess. I am certain this will crack my
relationship, but what can I do? Shakti has awakened and will not
stand for me to be bound and tied to another's energy.
So i guess being told you are like another person is a genuine
opportunity to see if you have vamped them or vice versa....people
are no longer seeing my boyfriend and I as two peas in a pod...I am
now the cheerful one!
Sabrina
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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