To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/08/15 11:02
Subject: Re: [K-list] Am i in the Dark Night?
From: Roxanne
On 2002/08/15 11:02, Roxanne posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Ben,
I understand completely how you feel.
I have experienced this for several months now and can say that while the
emptiness is still there,
the intensity has diminished somewhat. I am physically functional now. It
is interesting that
Goddess sends the distractions I seem to need to get me to unstuck and
moving on. All I can really say is that
with time and "patience" ( I used to hate that word) and absolute trust in
the perfection of Goddess will,
it will change or you will get the necessary perspective to deal with it.
Mystress explained to me how necessary
it is to develop your "faith muscle". That analogy made the time and
patience thing/process easier to understand,
intellectually anyway. Like she says "Chop wood, carry water". We are
going to do whatever we are going to do.
We can fight the process or flow with it.
This K-list is of immeasurable help with the perspective part. Keep up with
it, it does help.
Hang in there, it will get different and in a good way. Goddess has it
handled.
Roxanne
----- Original Message -----
From: Ben Frocklage <thewindsofwarATnospamhotmail.com>
To: <K-list >
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2002 3:59 PM
Subject: [K-list] Am i in the Dark Night?> Apart from my other problems i have had a peculiar one as of late. It all
> started about 3 or 4 months ago when all of a sudden i felt a sweet and
soft
> bliss that entered my heart that started when i just thought of God. IT
was
> the best experience of my life, for two days i felt it nonstop. It got
> mildly intense, at its peak times i would walk around like a drunken man
> stumbling around and such. It was great! I prayed very much for it not to
> stop. But it did stop. When it stopped all i could think about was how
could
> i get this joy back again it changed my whole life. After it happened
though
> things were different. Music which i loved lost its luster, it no longer
> brought me joy to listen to, and the same with meditation, whenever i
> meditate NOTHING happens its very annoying. Ever since that happened i
have
> not felt joy in anything at all its like im stuck in some weird void that
is
> suffocating. My heart feels dry, and it feels like there is a vast
emptiness
> within it. Iam sick of the physical world, i no longer look for hapiness
> from it, i have no desire at all but to have that joy again that i
> experienced. Thus i have a stronger desire for God than ever, yet i feel
> like im not progressing at all. It feels like iam an outcast, not in the
> physical world of men and not spiritual either. At times i moan and cry
out
> from this suffering of emptiness that i feel. A friend said that I'm going
> through the dark night of the soul, and that my suffering would end in
time.
> At first i thought it was true and great hope and hapiness came to me. Now
> weeks later its still here and I'm not sure. Maybe iam stuck in some weird
> void of suffering and it will never end? I don't really know what to
think.
> -Ben
> _____________
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