To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/08/13 06:38
Subject: [K-list] Again thanks. Sorry to be repetative at times.
From: Gregor Gonnella

Dear All,

Thais for your support, it has really helped me through some difficult times. I know I can repeat myself and ask the same questions again and again, but the K makes me so scared at times I just need a little reassurance. Thanks for that.

I am kind of seeing this process as a good thing now, thanks to your help. A cleansing process. That although difficult has my own higher goals as its goal, You just have to go along with the process. There not much else you can do.

I was reading a book on K. It was very good at the start, saying that it is a cleansing process, and not to be affriad. Is says many illnesses that occur during the K process are manefestions of the process itself. One woman had symptoms of cancer; diabetes and other things which cleared up once the process had finished its work.

I went on to read some of the things that could go "wrong". STUPID. I'm quite depressed. I feel as if I have done something "wrong". The Chronic Fatigue, my mind keeps telling me, is a result of too strong a K release. And deep down I think I blame myself for that. But how can I?

I just have to get through. That's all you can do. One person wrote me a really great email saying that I had to take it on trust that it was a good thing that was happening to me and I would be pleased with the process once it had finished. It's an open of the heart just hoping and hoping and being faithful in yourself and in god. A distancing from the mind and ALL the troubles it can find in its endless analysis of what's wrong, what can go wrong, what is going wrong.

You have no choice but to let go. A difficult thing to learn for someone with a scientific background who believes everything written in a book. I actually see my mind doing it. I read a passage, read 3 good things about K and one "bad" thing. My mind obsesses about the bad thing. Goes over and over it again and again. Won't let it go. Like a dog chewing a bone. ("let go Gregor, for gods sake, let go").

Thanks for your help, understanding and support.

Gregor.

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