To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/08/08 10:22
Subject: RE: [K-list] For Lori !!
From: Lori Worley
On 2002/08/08 10:22, Lori Worley posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Gregor
I didn't go to a doctor to have my symptoms diagnosed as CFS - it was a
general feeling that I had. It came after two very difficult years, and I
suppose I was probably quite exhausted. The symptoms came on after a trip
to Sri Lanka, where I experienced the intense energies of the old cities and
Sri Pada. Unfortunately meditation made the symptoms worse!
Looking back on it now, I realise I was in the process of letting go of a
lot of old stuff, like my old persona, my former career as a marketing
professional, some obsessional tendencies driven by anxiety (I was
obsessional about meditation among other things), anger towards my family,
in particular my mother, etc, etc. In the process I was learning to accept
myself and love myself as I really am. I was also learning to allow the
gentle, nurturing side to have more space, as before I operated almost
entirely from the masculine. So, for me it was about coming back to a state
of balance, and I see that time as a state of hibernation in preparation for
the next phase in my life.
I can completely understand your frustration. It was really difficult for
me, as I've been a go-getter for as long as I can remember, so not having
any energy to leave the flat or to even meditate was incredibly frustrating.
It may not be what you want to hear, but I really think the best thing you
can do is to be gentle with yourself and accept what's happening. Perhaps
you can take the time to reflect on your life. Maybe seek counselling, or
perhaps work with another sort of healer. I'm a psychotherapy student, so I
have counselling every week, which is a great thing for me. I also have
been working with a homeopath, and I combined the two therapies to help me
build my self-esteem so that I could allow my soul nature to be expressed
more fully - without fear. Finally, I decided to leave a career that I
didn't like, and I've now embarked full-time on a healing path. So many
doors have opened since I made that decision. It has been a great
experience and helped me tremendously. The fatigue lasted for six months,
but I now feel stronger and wiser and more grounded, and most importantly I
know myself better than I ever did, and I love and respect all bits of me,
even the tired and the not-so-nice bits. I couldn't have said that in
December last year.
That's my story, and I hope that has helped you in some way. I can feel
your desperation, and I know how unpleasant it is. I would suggest that you
be kind to yourself - don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. Give
yourself the space to rest if that's possible. Use the time that you would
have spent meditating to sleep or read in bed or listen to music - or
whatever makes you happy. It's a natural and probably very necessary
healing phase that you need to go through, and you'll be grateful for it
when it's all over.
My heart goes out to you.
Lori
xo
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.