To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/07/30 21:04
Subject: [K-list] Paranoia Poll
From: luck4all1
On 2002/07/30 21:04, luck4all1 posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Hillary,
A big YES to your paranoia poll.
My K thingy happened 7 years ago, with no preparation. It was spontaneous,
and I didn't have a clue about what was happening, except that it was
magical and wonder-full. But as wonderful as it was, it did lead to
paranoia. It was interesting, because I was aware all along that this
paranoia would be interpreted as mental illness by any professional, along
with many of my other "symptoms", yet the paranoia at the time was so easy
to fall into...
When my experiences first started happening, I thought that it was either
something totally magical, or that it was insanity, or maybe both. So,
determined to hold onto my rationality, I started a notebook which I called
my "evidence" notebook, to prove to myself that everything was "real". And
cripes, did I ever compile the "evidence"! - so many awesome syncronicities,
siddhis, guidance, physical changes, etc. But I also started compiling
"evidence" of many paranoic occurences. And like the "good" evidence, the
paranoid evidence spiralled and grew to become all-inclusive. One event led
to another, to another, until it seemed my whole life tied into one grand
plot. (kind of hard to convey)
Some examples of my "evidence" compilation which led to paranoia:
Letters (snail-mail) arrived in my mail daily from 4 people in Rhode Island,
Los Angeles, Nederlands, and Massachusettes who I did not know. These four
people somehow "found" me and informed me that I was destined to be part of
some new messiah entity. These letters were real, and I still have them.
There were 3 men, and one woman. They seemed to know things about my life
that they couldn't know.
I was contacted out of the blue by a group from Stanford and requested to
participate in a remote viewing experiment. My assignment was to go to
Mansk and check on the activities of a nuclear site, specifically to look
for any type of accident.
I heard electronic "beeps" throughout my house, and on my phone. I saw
strange vehicles out front...
During this intense period of K, I was also experiencing regular OBE's.
This all lasted approx. 7 months. The synchronicities occured at such
astounding rates, along with very rapid manifesting of thought, that it was
very very easy to fall into a messiah/persecution syndrome. I even gathered
my family and loved ones together at one point to tell them good-bye, as
rationally as I could, as I fully expected that I would mysteriously be
"abducted" by some mysterious higher entity, be it government, or alien, or
whoever. ?? I think they believed me, as my "evidence" was real.
Anyway, how did this all end for me? I think it started to fully dawn on me
that I was writing the script. My "knowing" "Ah-Ha" was that we do indeed
create our own reality, and my K activation was somehow manifesting my
internal thoughts and emotions into external physical events at an alarming
rate! And this was a lesson in itself, as this realization showed me how we
ALL do this ALL the time anyway. It was really a very powerful and freeing
lesson, this idea of total responsibility, yet total freedom for my own
creations on this plane.
I remember the thought hitting me, at the peak of my paranoia,
"Why, you're all a Pack of Playing Cards!"... and I laughed, and laughed,
and said and thought this over and over... It all became like a Huge Cosmic
Joke to me! And after this everything kind of mellowed out, and faded
slowly back to normalcy.
Strange tale, huh? Ya know, I could still slide back into that paranoia I
think, if I focused on that stuff. But I simply choose not to. :-)
Love,
Susan M.
>Dear List,
>Only four people so far have responded to the Paranoia poll. See below for
>the answers to date. I'd love to get a few more replies, as I think it is a
>very interesting phenomena, :)) so please feel free to write to me
>privately. There is another aspect of paranoia, also, which brings us back
>to Kenneth's Savior poll. Here's a short definition of paranoia
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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