To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/07/29 11:54
Subject: [K-list] Paranoia/Savior polls
From: Druout
On 2002/07/29 11:54, Druout posted thus to the K-list:
Dear List,
Only four people so far have responded to the Paranoia poll. See below for
the answers to date. I'd love to get a few more replies, as I think it is a
very interesting phenomena, :)) so please feel free to write to me
privately. There is another aspect of paranoia, also, which brings us back
to Kenneth's Savior poll. Here's a short definition of paranoia
1 : a psychosis characterized by systematized delusions of persecution or
grandeur usually without hallucinations
I have a ten savior poll responses which came to the list, and will
incorporate them as part of this poll. Here is the Savior poll question:
How many people on this list once thought of themselves as somekinda saviour
already? How many still do?
And the Paranoia questions again:
Have you experienced K induced paranoia?
How did you resolve it?
Thanks everybody!
Love, Hillary
**********
Oh yes, indeedy.
How did you resolve it?
Resolve it? LOL! Endure it, more accurate. Lots of reality
checking when safe to do so, e.g., honey, are you weird or is it me?! When
it is intense, I try to sit very, very quietly, observing the turmoil, and I
make a vow to myself not to act on the paranoia till at least 6 hours after I
think the storm has passed.
*********
Absolutely! I thought too much! And I was reading books at the time that
totally gave me a wacky spin. My paranoia came from coincidences, thinking
too much, about myself and others, and also physical symptoms.
How did you resolve it?
I realized that whenever I look for something..I find it. I look for
something to be wrong..And I will find it...I look for something wonderful..I
will find it. A lot of it ran dry after I stopped thinking so much. I just
told my self, 'No..Life isn't like that'. I began to understand that I was
confused! That I was having a hard time understanding what was going on...And
we tend to fear what we don't understand..we all know that.
*******
Oooooweeeee. In 1996 paranoia didn't even begin to describe my state of
mind.
K had energized POWERFULLY for the second time and I was certain everyone I
knew was in a conspiracy against me. The police were looking for me and so
was the FBI.
LOL
Yeah right.
I dealt with the police aspect back storming into the police station downtown
and demanding to know if they were looking for me. They were not. No
warrants. I knew this consciously but I could not convince my subconscious
that is wasn't true. Same thing with the FBI; I went to their office and
asked if they were looking for me. They weren't either. After that the
conspiracy among my freinds eventually fell apart on its own....with a little
help from my psychologist. I was GLAD that was over.
Still laughing about that one:^)
*********
Some of what Nash experienced was so close to what my second K energization,
I couldn't believe it. I didn't hallucinate like he did, but the paranoia
made me see "real" people in a completely different light. I was constantly
terrified that there was a conspiracy against me....not just the Russians
were looking for me, but EVERYONE was looking for me; trying to catch me in a
moment of responding to energies that it seemed that only I was aware of so
they could haul me off to the psyche ward.
It seemed to me like people were peices on a great quantum chessboard and
that we were manipulated by divine players in huge groups as easily as a
human chessplayer moves a single piece. I could step out of this control if
I wanted to, but when I did it made me look insane to others.
********
I was paranoid as a child and it got worse on K awakening. Probably reached
it's climax in late teens/early twenties. It mainly manifested in the form
of acute self consciouness, thinking people were staring at me everywhere I
went, imagining the worst outcome of all possible situations etc.
> How did you resolve it?
I don't get it at all now. Seemed partially to have resolved itself
gradually over the years and experiences - but the last chunks got cleared
out during the course of my last two breakdowns/psychological clear outs.
**********
Original question:
Dear List,
Paranoia seems a pretty common aspect of awakening. I think because we lose
our filters, everything becomes part and parcel of us--no separation. There
is no "me" to be fearful--a heavenly rest. Then as we "come down" our ego
safety valve jumps in and our brain tries to make sense of what has occurred
and uses all sorts of metaphors to rationalize what has happened. At this
point all sorts of thoughts can occur. If we hear the mermaid sing (or
someone on TV speak), she *must* be singing to us because we hear her.
Wonderful sublime music! But then we start to worry why she might be singing
to us! lol
Shall we do a poll on paranoia?
Have you experienced K induced paranoia?
How did you resolve it?
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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