To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/07/19 02:03
Subject: [K-list] Kristy's fear rant for the month
From: Stormymouse :P
On 2002/07/19 02:03, Stormymouse :P posted thus to the K-list:
Hello, its almost 4am been up a couple of hours just need to let some things out I suppose the usual. You know there is a part of me inside that fears when the K takes over God it is frightning the physical and emotional symptoms it seems to love to really set in about 2am every night and I feel like a volcano erupting. I feel so alone not a person around me experiences this I was brought up believing you have physical symptoms something is wrong so it can be so hard to let go. I think what if the doctors are wrong what if there really is something wrong with me :(, they say that they have never seen so many strange symptoms on one person, It actually made one doctor laugh. It has been a year and a half since all this started and for the most part I am doing fine but occasionally t his fear will pop into my head. The burning up the spine and in my tailbone the tingly heat all over my body, the pressure in my chakras. I feel so arrid and dry and I really do feel like a volcano. The hot flashes and then feeling cold the heart chakra going wild and then the solar plexus, the nausea when it first starts. The aching in my third eye and crown as the energy passes up to my head through my fiery throat. I feel my warm breath leaving my body it is so unusually warm I know it is the K energy. The occasional pains in chakras and sharp tingly electrical things in my hands and other places. The intense fears and other feelings coming up. Yes, the symptoms are nowhere as severe as they were when all this first started at least I am able to function cuz back then I was a wreck for sure. And I get such indegestion too it really is like Im a volcano that is what I envision when all this happens and the blocks I can feel them moving around. I start seeing energy all around me, sometimes I have visitors or see visions it is all so intense. Anyway it is 4am now and I am feeling better it is the same usual pattern I guess but some days I fear instead of relax. It is so hard to relax sometimes cuz I look at my two daughters and I think my god I have to be here for them I hope nothing is wrong with me, I had such a louzy childhood I wont let them have a bad one, they are my life. I probably could let go so much easier if I was w/out kids cuz it wouldnt matter as much as it does now. All my fears resolve more around my kids than anything but then I guess that is part of being a mother and loving your kids soooooooo much, I truly want the best for them.
Anyway this is my usual fear rant but I do feel better, within a few hours life will be back to normal (at least my version of normal :)
Love and Light
Kristy
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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