To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/07/10 16:01
Subject: [K-list] Re: Thought Forms - yet more Q's
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/07/10 16:01, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 05:13 PM 09/07/02, Doc Kunda wrote:
>Mystress Angelique Serpent wrote:
>
>About giving up attachments and giving all to Goddess.
>
>I think I understand about letting go of attachments and
>giving things up to Goddess. If it is to be, then the right
>things will naturally happen to make it become a bigger
>reality than I ever could imagine. it is not up to me.
Kewl.
>Here is where I may have confusion. You have said that
>nobody else exists, except in each of us. (in non duality
>that is). If also the world is already perfect as you know
>it is, then why are you back in duality healing people and
>not just telling them to "get with the program, they are
>already perfect as is the world, and leave me alone to
>myself?" Would not that be a valid answer.
heh... so I am full of contradictions... :) they are not really
contradictions. Depends on what chakra you are living/seeing reality from.
Different chakras are different dimensional universes, and from one to the
next there are contradictions. In the upper chakras there is nonduality,
but in the lower chakras one has to be respectful of the Free will of
individuals. As awakening progresses, more chakra eyes open and you get
perceptions of different dimensions. It is pretty automatic for me to look
at something from different chakras before making decisions.
Look inside of yourself, for the tiny spark that is your soul. Whatever
chakra is it hanging out in, is the dimensional universe where you live.
Move it to another chakra with your imagination, and you will notice a
perceptual and emotional shift that corresponds with the issues of that
chakra. Astral travel by sending it somewhere else. If you cannot see it,
then just imagine it. Imagine your soul spark in Hawaii... it follows your
focus.
As a side note... Did a beautiful session last week, with one of my
students. It was to be a Serpent Fire Tummo initiation, but as we were to
begin clearing the solar plexus to prepare it for the fire, she mentioned a
persistent knot there she had not been able to clear.
I looked, and it was like a steel golf ball... and I knew what was
inside because I have encountered this before. Her soul was in it, she had
put it there for safekeeping when she was an abused child... and then spent
the next 40 years wondering what was missing, why she felt homeless and
lost. It was so beautiful, her soul light expanding and integrating into
every cell of her body. She came home. Finally felt like she belonged on
this planet. The memory still makes my heart spill over with joy... no
words to describe the beauty. Bliss.
The ironic thing is, the soul cannot be harmed by anything we do on
this earth. If the vessel gets too blocked up with karma or there is
trauma, the soul may leave the body... then we do a soul retrieval.
However, a child locking up their soul for safekeeping, is not unusual. Of
course, the soul cannot really be imprisoned, either... but by locking it
away, they cease to feel it, know it. How many of those lost tofu ice cream
children, feel like they do not belong on the planet because they lost
their soul? An un activated sacrum chakra can have the same effect. No
sense of belonging. Often a side effect of a breech birth or a caesarian.
I postponed the Tummo initiation because it was obvious that she had to
go through the soul integration processing first. Most people can only
handle a certain about of energy work at one time.
Last I heard, the soul integration was giving her back all kinds of
painful repressed memories from her childhood. Tough processing, but
mitigated by the knowledge that it is a healing release, and the joy of
regaining the knowledge of her past. Finally knowing who she is.
Yes, the soul often does have a sense of its purpose in incarnating...
but it is not written in stone, but subject to change, and how it manifests
can change too... especially as the body gets older, and as purposes are
fulfilled.
What it tells you and what you hear, is dependent on language and
interpretation, and that is where ego can really mess up. What the soul
"says" and what the ego hears can be completely different, depending on
your ability to understand. The soul sees perfection. If the ego cannot,
then the message is bound to be distorted... often, transmitted through the
metaphorical language of the unconscious. The "world" is usually a metaphor
for the body. Your life mission at this time, as I read it... as I said
previously, is to heal your inner child and also clear karma from your
body. Take the stone from your own eye...
What IF: the world is perfect, but your perception of it is messed up?
Ask your inner guidance that, and let it open your eyes and show you.
Being attached to what your ego thinks your purpose is, interferes with
the moment to moment divine guidance. So, keep surrendering what you think
it is... and it gets wider and clearer, till finally it needs no thinking
at all. Perfect alignment. The body is steered by the soul, and the mind is
the passenger.
Anyhow... back to when I descended.. Bliss got boring. I started to
wonder if the point of incarnating was to hide out in nonduality... don't
need a body for that, it is where we come from. I realized that Goddess in
the illusion of other was calling me to come back and be in the world, and
I surrendered to that.
Looking at it another way... I departed leaving a lot of unfinished
business and abandoned responsibilities. Slaves, lists, etc. I decided to
complete on them, so my slaves could join me in nondualty. Re-attached.
Glad I did, it has been a trip! Not always a pleasant one... got pretty
homesick, sometimes... but these days moving in and out of duality happens
at the speed of thought. Soul zips up and down the chakras easily to see
the world reflected in all ways.
Sure, most people do not know they are perfect. Shall I go into a soup
kitchen and tell the homeless to get with the program, that they are
perfect and their reality is self created? No! I'd get lynched, and they
would be right to do it, because I would not be respecting who they are and
how they see themselves. My opinions would be an unwelcome projection. Not
respectful of their Free will.
They are the gods of their own reality, whether they know it or not.
>You mention being "called by the world" which is not very
>different from some things I write that you seem to
>discount.
Yeah, it is different... I had perfect Divine humans asking me to come
back to the world coz I was missed. Inviting me back to the game. Out of
unconditional love, and into compassion. Goddess made the illusion of more
than one of us, so we can hug each other.
You were hearing visionary voices telling you the world needs fixing,
which you accepted coz it aligned with your negative judgments.
You came on the list, and started projecting them onto us. I felt it, so
did others and we also saw that you were quite unaware of the Free will
boundaries you trample with your "good intentions". Saviors never are. I am
the List Mystress, guardian at the gates... : ) I acted, to reflect them
back, with love and compassion as I have done with so many other saviors
before you... most of whom, have thanked me for it, later.
I don't do it for them, I do it for myself.
Comes down to consensuality. Free Will is Goddess law.
To me, from a higher chakra perspective, you appear totally enlightened
self realized and divine. I do not know you do not see it yourself, till
you open your mouth (type on your keyboard) to tell me where you think
Goddess is not: you see a sad miserable world, so that tells me you are not
there yet. You are projecting it onto the world, without the consent of the
world. Projecting "needs help" into the list members. I felt it, and chose
to return to sender, reflected. To get involved.
We all exist on all the chakra dimensions, we are just not all aware of
that. Chakra eyes not yet opened. I do not need to invade your boundaries
by spying your energy, you have laid it all out for show and tell.
How you describe your experience: you feel presences and energy but you
do not see it. So, your heart and throat chakras are partly opened but your
third eye is not. All this stuff about thinking the world needs fixing are
lower chakra issues. Hero stuff is power chakra, no sense of belonging is
root chakra, and partly second chakra-relationships.
You are here, asking me questions and I am giving you what you asked
for. It is consensual. I am doing it, for myself, because it is fun. I see
myself in you, Goddess self and past self; I have been were you are.
If I choose to enter duality, and look, then your karmic issues show
up to me like patterns of shadow in your aura... but I generally do not
look, unless someone is asking in a session because where my attention goes
my energy and empathy goes and I get the karma. Sometimes the karma will
not show itself till there is a trigger activating it. I only get shown
what is ready to be cleared. Whether the owner is ready to let go of it, is
another question.
What you are wanting to do, is change a world that has not asked to be
changed... you have negative judgments about it that can be a karma
producing good intention that will shoot ya in the foot.
> Called implies purpose to carry for some action
>or be available for some action, does it not?
I call it "active surrender". Surrendering to action. Right action, as
Buddha would say. Surrender something a dozen times and Goddess gives it
back better a dozen times, then you know a whole lot more about what it is
about. What to do. Surrender must always come first. Surrender enough, ego
steps aside and the mind is silent with no need to think... and then all
action is dharma. Zen mastery.
> Is it the
>tree from the forest syndrome I currently suffer from, or
>just plain ignorance?
It is a natural phase of K., as several people have mentioned. Kind of
like adolescence. :) Teenagers have sex hormones ablaze, but that does not
mean they are mature enough to deal with the consequences of acting on the
drive.
No offense intended. :) Your behavior indicates you are about 1/2 way
through the K. process.. more or less.
>Mystress, you mention getting sick if you do not heal 100
>people a month.
Did not say 100... more like, 2 or 3... not sick exactly, just feeling
really off balance and strange, weak and cranky.
But yeah, if I take more than a month off work, I get un-well. Last
year I went off sailing for a month, did a teeny bit of work on one person
but it was not enough, took a few weeks off after that, started feeling
really odd, just not right.. energy not flowing. Bent out of shape. So I
called some chat parties offering fixing to any who wanted some. A few
hours of intense work, and I felt like myself again. Win/win.
My Shakti is really abundant, finding places to put it all is a full
time job. Creative energy is the side effect of the karma transmutation
alchemy. Art, writing, shaktipat, people, sculpture, webdesign, ... if I do
not, then I end up with accidental manifestations coming of a stray thought...
Unless I am in nonduality, in which case there is no motive to do
anything at all. There is no karma. The body feeds itself, I do not have to
think. Very peaceful and radiant, but eventually my ADD brain gets restless
and bored and goes looking for trouble. : )
In any case, my need for karma food, is not about what someone else
needs. It is about what I need. It is not a projection. I am not projecting
"needs to be fixed" onto someone just coz I need a karma snack fix...
No need to, there are always plenty around, asking... some of them give
me money too, which is delightful and makes a more balanced exchange.
Cleaner, no aftertaste of indebtedness.
Tho there were times in the past, during my training process when I was
a much hungrier vampire, and less gentle and consensual about feeding.
Heh... I needed the healing, myself. What I put out came back multiplied.
Not being clear myself, it was sometimes kind of bumpy all round... but
very powerful.
Swap your thoughts around. The world does not need fixing, you need
to... what? Get validation? Enjoy watching people grow? Feel important,
valued, loved, needed, appreciated? Stop thinking about what someone else
needs, and get clear on what you need. Examine your motives by looking at
what is in it for you, personally and also what fear is driving you.
> Why do they need healing, they are already
>perfect? Why do you get sick if you don't heal them.
They do not know they are perfect. They believe they need healing, so
Goddess provides. You get what you believe, cosmic law. So, believing the
world needs fixing lands you in a world that needs fixing... live by the
sword, die by the sword.
Why I get sick... I dunno. I have some theories, and I have read some
other Shamans have the same experience... tho not all Shamans are healers.
BTW: You claim the title of Shaman... how did you come by it?
You do not feel like a Shaman to me. A Kundalite, yes... and there is a
whiff of something else, almost a "Golden Dawn" or ritual magician vibe.
Comes of your Kabballah studies, perhaps.
A Shaman carries a vibe like the death and bad trip hallucinations of
poison mushrooms. It may be subtle but it is there... product of the
initiation and the spirit training process. One foot in the underworld,
king of hell. You don't have it, and you do not know the things Shamans
know... so why are you calling yourself a Shaman?
Snacking on other people's karma is delicious alchemy so long as they
surrender it willingly... I call it "karma vampire games", and I have
gotten pissed with it and quit a dozen times... usually because I bit off
more than I could chew, coz my food did not surrender as promised and I
took the fall.
Yet, empathic is what I am, and picking up other folks karma is kind of
inevitable unless I am very strict about detachment. My empathy and my
energy follows my attention, and I get karma back. Doubtless you are
getting quite a charge from this thread, because I have gone into
processing naps twice...
Ascension is a kind of death... I seem to need to eat duality to stay
alive. Not much, just a few snacks. Karma vampire. Dead woman. Ironically,
I am observing that since I have cut down on my snacking, I have aged
faster, physically. Since I am very vain, I may go back to it. :)
Conversely, if I get stuck in duality I lose my immune system and go to
pieces really quickly. What gets me stuck, in invariably my own "good
intentions" on some level. Trying to keep my side of an agreement that the
other has already broken. Attachments.
Of course, it could also be all those people telling me I look too
young and pretty to be a Guru.. LOL!! Am I a Guru?
My friend once read a description of me from a book of witches... I fit
the description of a Mexican type of healer called "eater of filth".
Skinny, big eyes, pale, nocturnal... the whole deal. I thought it was
funny. Truth makes me laugh...
> Do
>these signals and leadings not dictate your routine and
>drive your course while back in duality?
What do you mean?
I am me. I surrender to my individuality, and my nature. My body and
soul usually knows what it wants, in the moment. My own plans and long term
projections are tentative, as Goddess Wills. I do not attach to them
because they may go poof at any moment. Life is what happens, when we are
busy making other plans... so surrender attachments. Stay in the Now.
Surrender everything, and be nothing... then you can be anything, in the
moment.
The brain that does the thinking is not the part that makes the
decisions. Body has a navigation system, built in that needs no words.>Am I talking about
>very different experiences in the exercising my course of
>least resistance actions. Giving in to what you can not
>control or ever fully comprehend.
kewl. Going with the flow.
> I see so many parallels
>in some of what we say, yet am perceived to be so in the
>dark according to some others posts and opinions,
You do not have the chakras that would give understanding, fully opened
yet. The understanding is experiential, you have to go there... words do
not communicate it adequately.
>which
>really don't matter, except I wish to not be a deceiver of
>myself. That is why I ask on.
It is a discussion list.. we are discussing...
>Hope my inquiries are not seen as endless rehashing of old
>posts. The live interaction seems to be so much more
>powerful than reading old archived posts.
Well, I created FST and the ongoing websites, because I do get bored of
explaining the same stuff over and over so a resistant ego can grok it...
of course, you enjoy the personal attention and the Shaktizap. I am
enjoying it too, why else maintain a discussion list? ... but I am pretty
much done with this topic. I have enjoyed the distraction. I have a lot of
other email piling up that needs my attention.
Working through stuff like this logically is very inefficient. So much
easier to go into session real-time and release the baggage as energy, kick
out the entities, etc. Get a tune-up. Then you know, because the chakra
opened and cleared shows you. Experientially. Words cannot match that.
I do not talk much about my work on the list, because of
confidentiality and in the interests of keeping it a spam Free zone... but
it is fascinating, how the K. process can be smoothly accellerated by
Shaktipat and energy work.
Blessings...
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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