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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/07/02 19:54
Subject: [K-list] Hello all... kinda out of it
From: Keith Chapman

On 2002/07/02 19:54, Keith Chapman posted thus to the K-list:

Hello everyone,
   Hope you all are doing great in your endevors and dreams. I think I
might take a moment to ramble on... I've just been in a weird limbo state
of mind lately. Unable to focus or calm, and so unmotivated. Meditation is
more like sleep and I no longer feel the old urges to dive into deep
contemplation of some intriguing thought. When I first started meditating,
it was all I wanted to do. Just meditate all day long, now I can hardly
sit for 5 minutes without feeling that it would be nicer just to fall
asleep. I guess I've just lost my motivation, but why? I still feel a want
to be into spirituality, I would love to be so connected to everything, or
really to be consciously connected to everything. When I first joined the
list I read nearly every message, now I read only a few, and it all seems
like it has been all said before just through different words. So now that
I'm thinking, perhaps I've withdrawn myself back towards grasping the
"real" world.. and holding onto my life out of fear. I believe I have lost
what tiny amount of surrender and contentment I may have at one point had
or lived as, I don't know how to explain it. Life seemed full and
blooming, vibrant and new. I know there's no reason why it should not be
full and invigorating now. Hmm, well thanks for listening, I know all I
really need to do is blah blah blah, get it out of me, and be happy again.

Thanks,
   Keith

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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