To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/06/30 10:11
Subject: Re: [K-list] Dark Night and Strange Compulsions
From: Druout
On 2002/06/30 10:11, Druout posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 6/30/2002 2:55:09 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
sabrinagouldATnospamnf.sympatico.ca writes:
> I;m wwriting to see if anyone can give me some info on how to 'go into the
> light.' Does one first have to experience a dark night and face one's
> shadow?
Dear Sabrina,
Welcome to the K list! :))
Not in my experience, but others are probably more qualified to give you
feedback on this than I am.
My life seems to have been one long dark night and I have never managed to
see
> any light for more than a split second. Occasionally during meditation I
> feel like I was just outside the light but then i got excited and fell
> right back down to earth. Is there any way to stay in the light for a
> while?
Well, most of us do fall back to earth sooner or later :)), but the light is
always with us whether we are presently experiencing it or not. You know it
is there, because you saw it.
I feel like I may not make it through the dark night if i don't see some
indication
> that the pain will be over or even go on hiatus for a bit. Also, I was
> wondering if part of the whole facing your shadow experience includes
> strange compulsions.
It's probably not that unusual.
If so, I know giving into them is not the best of things to do, at leat not
in reality.
> But is one supposed to surrender to them mentally? Should I be experiencing
> a twisted compulsion in my mind and just love it? I am terribly afraid that
> if i do that i will become psychotic and continually haunted by these
> strange impulses.
I would suggest neither loving nor hating the thoughts, but simply trying to
let them pass through you.
the thing is, i don't even feel like most of these compulsions are mine or
what i
> want. most of them feel like an attack against me. i realize this may be my
> own kundalini forcing me to surrender to my shadow, but i have tried this
> before and it makes the thought form worse. it becomes an obsession and i
> can think of nothing else. which brings up guilt, paranoia and hysteria.
It's that old problem of trying *not* to think about the Rhinoceros.
Impossible!
But you can distract yourself and think of other things and realize that the
rhinoceros really can't harm you--whether it is your thought or anothers.
Sooner or later the thought will simply give up if you don't give it much
attention. Sometimes medication can help distract and get the cycle broken.
i realize i may just sound crazy, but aren't spiritual healing and
psychological
> healing the same thing?
I'd guess pretty much the same thing usually. :))
I realize i may have created these intrusive thoughts and so much darkness to
> force myself towards evolution, b/c i am normally such a lazy person. still,
> i would like to integrate things as safely as possible has anyone ever felt
> like they were seriously deranged because of the dark thoughts flooding the
> mind?
Perhaps the physical nature of the severe arthritis is helping to cause the
dark thoughts--a physical, not a mental problem. I know I had horrendous
nightmares a while ago when I had a flu/fever. Sometimes there is a
connection.
>
> On a somehwat lighter note, does anyone think doing money magick is a good
> idea?
Well, I imagine there are a number of us who are financially independent.
:)) That doesn't mean we'll necessarily stay that way! :)) There is no
requirement, IMO that Kundalites have to take a vow of poverty.
I'm really sorry you are in such pain. I hope things get a lot better for
you.
Love, Hillary
If i am forcing myself to raise the kundalini, i seriusly doubt i can work.
my fatigue
> level is astronimical, and coupled with severe arthritis. i can imagine how
> hard it'll be when the kriyas and convulsion begin! i mean, it's hard
> enough taking care of the body when k-process begins, let alone having to
> work in a room with hundres of ppl and their yucky chi! (I work at a call
> centre).so is doing money magic an ego-based activity and ultimately
> harmful? or is a good way to give oneself the freedom to evolve? I know
> being financially secure or independent might make one feel happy enough to
> try to resist kundalin, but i doubt it would work with me. i can't run away
> from my own thoughts and karmic baggage. believe me, i have tried and
> created more misery in the end. i don't think i can work during this dark
> night, not without some glimpses of light. are there ever any financially
> independent kundalites?
>
> Anyway, these are some questions i would desperately love feedback for. I
> appreciate everyone listening.
>
> sabrina
>
>
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.