To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/06/28 21:26
Subject: [K-list] Like attracts like?
From: siska
On 2002/06/28 21:26, siska posted thus to the K-list:
Like attracts like? Opposites attract? Clearly a subject compelling enough to ensure I'm writing this at 4.30am.
Yesterday I let rip at someone who made me very angry. Surprise surprise I have spent my whole life struggling with the legacy of twisted women. One was an extremely dark, bitter, vindictive great grandmother. Another systematically and knowingly attempted to manipulate and play God over not only my family but her own too. This figure has cropped up for me repeatedly throughout my life. Does this figure say something about me? I'd be the first to admit that, though quite what I'm still trying to figure.
'Shelob' as I now refer to this little old archtype of mine, crops up less and less now as I've confronted and dealt with my own anger over the years. But clearly she will still pop up now and then to keep me on my toes.
Yesterday I recognised this manipulative energy in someone on the list - and yes I blew my top. I won't apologise for it. This person had it coming to her. She insulted and derided people I care for and am concerned about and I don't see why I should tolerate that with tactful subtle words. It is simply not my style and I am not ashamed of it. There is a place for appropriate anger directed against another - in my experience (and this was with a very close family member,) it can be the only thing that will get through to them that they have been out of order.
It was unfortunate this same person also raised a subject that also makes me very angry - the labelling of the 'mentally ill' as weak. A prejudice I've also spent a lifetime struggling against. I'm tempted to write on about the prejudice I've faced, the unbelievably crass, ignorant, hurtful comments not only from professionals etc, but friends and even my own family. Comments that if directed at me for being black or gay I could sue over. Prejudice endured by millions - but many of whom are too vulnerable or low in self esteem to challenge back. Well I will never stop challenging. Wherever and whenever I meet prejudice/fear/hate over so called mental illness, I will challenge it.
The other day I answered a poll on what mission K has given me. Well that is one of them. And that was my mission statement.
So you can see I had a bit of a double whammy yesterday. Will someone please tell me where Mars is right now?
Going back to bed
siska.
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