To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/06/28 20:43
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re: Kundalini
From: Doc Kunda
On 2002/06/28 20:43, Doc Kunda posted thus to the K-list:
lavinaleone wrote:
> >Mind blowing tantric sexual moments occurred as well before her final
> fall(figure of speech, she is still alive :-).
>
> Final fall meaning what then? When you couldn't help her anymore or
> when she recovered? Did she ever recover from her awakening, you
> didn't say, although it played itself out in your life, what was the
> outcome in hers?
> Lavina
>
I see where you are going with your questions. What sense of
responsibility must I accept for her eventual condition? Did I do all I
could to help? For a long time the thoughts of my
responsibility/culpability sort of haunted me. I thought maybe I was
some monster who was going around wrecking havoc in the lives of weaker
creatures all for my own sexual and erotic pleasures. The fact that two
years before these events I had a chilling vision of the power of Tantra
and Kundalini during lovemaking and the harm it could do to a person not
properly prepared also haunted me. A premonition?. I thought it best
to avoid lovemaking for a year or two after that initial vision. This
Kundalini crisis events followed after compromising myself while in a
bind which led my getting a roommate which was this woman.
Your questions also indicate that you may not understand the level of
insanity and stalking that occurred. My new neighbors at my new
apartment thought she was going to go postal if she could not get me
back. My apartment complex almost kicked me out for having to deal with
her and my neihbors fears. My employer at that time had put together a
file of documentation an inch thick of the repeated and constant
nuisances she created. For a while they insisted for me to keep my job
that I file a restraining order against her. She tried to have cops
arrest me for taking stuff of hers that I did not have. She eventually
spent 11 days in jail, most of it for trespassing here at my
apartments. She had many warnings, including several by the police.
The apt management told me if she showed up and I did not call the law,
I would be evicted and that they had the neigbors watching closely. I
had to make the call when she showed up again.
My blessed child Ian (6 at the time) was not permitted over here for
almost 1 year for fear she would show up and involve him in a confusing
scene. She claimed we were common law married and she was his mother
and tried to involve the police, other authorities and relatives of mine
across the country to convince people of such.
She also began to greatly abuse her codeine based pain medicine she was
getting for migraines. 10 to 20 pills a day of heavy duty horse tabs.
She weighed only 105lbs. Sometimes taken with soma, or zanax, or other
things.
I was told by the law to not speak to her, contact her, or have anything
to do with her or they would charge me with stuff. they were really
tired of her at the end. She has been trying to contact me through a
few friends over the last couple of years. They either do not pick up
(caller ID), or stonewall her from being able to contact me. I know she
is still trying to figure out what has happened to her and how to manage
K. I know she still has events, although I think not very frequently.
I do not know if she has received help for her drug problems. If
somebody wishes to contact and counsel her, I am sure she would
appreciate it. Write me directly if anybody feels led to take this one
on.
I was counseled by a tantric friend who pointed out to me that it could
have ended for her any time she wanted it to. She had to be the one to
let go. I gave her all of the info, prayed meditated and took care of
here for months on a completely full time basis as she became almost an
invalid physically for days at a time. I am talking about carrying her
to the bathroom and back at one point During an event her body could
tense up in a tight contraction involving almost every muscle in her
body. One time she also told me about feeling as if the top of her head
was about to blast off from her scull. This was before I had the chance
to explain to her that particular effect of a full charge of Spirit.
This could last an hour. Being a personal trainer amongst other things,
gave me insight into her days of recovery after each event. Most people
can not keep contracting a muscle for more than a minute or two before
fatigue sets in. Imagine an hour of non stop involuntary yet totally
fully contracting every muscle in your body and not letting them relax,
even for a second. She was physically, mentally, emotionally, and
psychically spent, sore and with a failing nervous system after an
crisis event. This lasted 1 to 3 days.
Also know this. The day that K took hold of her was after three days of
her practically demanding nonstop for Spirit to show her what this
tantric stuff was that I had been sharing with her info on for weeks.
Be careful what you ask for!
I wish her all the help and peace on earth. I wish the bad stuff never
occurred. I wish she were here, it never had happened, and we were
making tantric love right now and into the night. It is just not in the
cards though. Sounds cold huh! We learn from our experiences to
function fully in the present to make way for what we are becoming.
Sometimes there is not room for guilt, pity, or never ending remorse.
Empathy is good though, and I do feel, that for her. I guess if you saw
me all the weeks of nights I wept over somebody I loved but had to
seperate from, and saw me wrestle with this drama as it unfolded I would
appear more sensitive. I just cannot go back over what I have discarded
already and now I talk about it rather clinically.
Sincerely,
Doc Kunda
Dare to be Different, Dare to Dream
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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